Whenever I think of my boy, the first line of the song, Come What May, from Moulin Rouge comes into my mind. Ah heck, other than the part about wanting to vanish inside his kiss, the whole song makes me weepy and describes very accurately about how I feel about DS.

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I’ve never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste
It all revolves around you

And there’s no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I’ll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh come what may, come what may
I will love you

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place…

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Come What May from Moulin Rouge

Here’s the thing: I knew I would love my children. I just never suspected HOW MUCH. And I never EVER imagined that I would take to being a Mommy (or even a SAHM) like a duck to water. I absolutely love spending practically all my time with DS. Granted, every now and then, I go a little stir-crazy and have to Go Somewhere. Anywhere. But I am shocked to say that since he was born about a year ago, I have yet to feel any resentment about my life being no longer only about me.

I think I finally found what I was always meant to be. DS’s Mommy. (And hopefully, God willing, a few more babies’s Mommy.)

Here’s the other thing. I never knew that love could expand ever more and more. I mean, I love my husband. He’s a good man and sweet and funny and mine. But, DS is MINE. MINE MINE MINE until some future woman (or man, I suppose – not sure how I feel about that just yet) makes him theirs.

It blew me away, the depth of my love for DS. And to think, that God’s love for us is infinitely greater than my love for DS. How is that even possible considering that my love for DS is SO BIG? Ridiculous, I know, to limit the infinite God by my lack of imagination (but isn’t that what I do about most things related to God?). But it still boggles my mind.

I never knew I could feel like this.

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