Just found out that my cousin’s baby boy (he’s about four months old) doesn’t really cry at all. He lives with a nanny (vs. the nanny living with them) and his parents come visit him after work and then take him home on the weekends. I didn’t have the heart to inform them that it wasn’t necessarily a good thing. That babies only learn not to cry if their cries are not attended to – because there is no point in crying if it doesn’t do anything. Babies in orphanages do that. It makes me very angry and very sad.

Why bother having a child if you can’t be bothered to take care of him?

Then, I think of the book I’m currently reading, Dreams in a Time of War by Ngugi Wa Thiong’O, and I’m just astounded by the poverty and injustice and cruelty that seemed to be normal at the time of his growing up (1940s). I realize that’s just how people lived back then, often hungry and poor. But the thought of hungry little children makes me so sad.

Then, I think of all the children in the world right now who are not wanted and are abandoned or are hungry and may be loved, but just weren’t born in the “right” part of the world. I think of my own little boy and can’t imagine any child that isn’t precious or loved. I want to weep just thinking about it. (As a result, I don’t think about it much. It’s too hard for my poor little heart to handle – and really difficult for me to remain a stoic, emotionless jerk.)

The irony is, of course, that today, during a play group today, I met and instantly couldn’t stand a three year old boy. Seriously, within five minutes of meeting him, I wanted to smack him and kick him out of my house. He kept complaining and wanted to go home and watch TV. He hated my house and my toys. He didn’t want to share or play well with the other little kids. I realize he’s only three, but I’ve met three year olds who weren’t, to quote DH, “little assholes.” hahaha.

Funny how children are precious in abstraction but not so much when they’re not yours and kinda nasty. (People are like that, too.)

Clearly, this says more about me than the kids.

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