So, I really should’ve borrowed a dog for a week. No, no… I’m not going to return this dog. But I must say, even though we have a totally low maintenance dog, I wasn’t quite prepared for his dogginess. You know, his happy bouncy dogginess. His smelliness. His need for love and attention. And you know what? The dog is not my kid. (But it is, but it is NOT.) *sigh*

Oh well. I’m sure everyone else predicted this. DH says I’m like a little kid with my obsessions. And then, reality hits. However, I am the one walking the dog, picking up poop (of not only the dog but DS’s too), letting the dog out multiple times, buying dog stuff, making sure he’s ok, etc. So, it’s not like I’m neglecting my responsibilities. But that’s just it. They feel like responsibilities.

I do the same stuff for DS, but it is a complete joy for me. I don’t even think of it as a cost. The dog? It’s a dog. Maybe it’s my Chinese dog-rearing mentality coming out full bore. I expect my dogs to hang out in the backyard until I remember it exists! What? It’s an actual real, alive thing that requires care and love and attention? That’s just crazy talk. Chinese people barely believe that about children!

Maybe I have a form of post-partum depression except of the dog adoption variety. Post-Adoption Depression. *sigh* And seriously, Baxter’s a really good dog. Now that he’s more used to us and the family, he’s pretty excited sometimes and just wants to join along. (He seems a lot less mellow than I originally thought, but for a dog, he’s still really laid back. I just want an inanimate object to pretend to be a dog every once in awhile.)

Maybe I only have room in my heart for my flesh and blood family? (Even DH sometimes falls out of this purview. Poor man.) Some of my friends say that Baxter will grow on me and I will eventually love him. I certainly hope so. Otherwise, it’s going to be at least a decade before I’ll be rid of him. 😦

(See, I told you I have a hard lump of coal where my heart is supposed to be.)

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