A local 15 year old girl jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge on Monday morning. What makes it even closer to home (other than she went to my high school) is that one of my friends is friends with her parents and therefore, knows the girl, too. How truly sad.

What’s so crazy isn’t that she wanted to kill herself (after all, I certainly made some half-assed attempts when I was a teenager), it’s that she actually followed through with it. She took the bus, then BART, then rode her bike to the bridge. That’s some determination and follow-through.

I wonder what makes it so that we internalize all the bad things that happen to us as if it’s all our fault. That the only solution is to end the pain by killing ourselves vs. killing the other people. (Sorry, poor joke.) It makes me so terribly sad.

And I also wonder, how do I prevent my kids from doing this? I mean, from internalizing everything? I’m sure her parents thought she was fine – yet she clearly wasn’t. There are way too many things that we cannot control as parents and that completely terrifies me. How do we not end up being complete control freaks? It is incredibly humbling. I find that the only thing I can do (other than my best, I mean) is to pray. After all, I certainly can’t control the future – no matter how hard I try.

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