So, found out for sure from my mother that my dad is coming to town for four days starting this Friday. She wanted to know if we were going to leave the house until he left. I said, “No.”

I am not going to be run out of my own damn house just because my dad is an asshat. I will not live in fear. My mom is going to remove my keys from her house and I will change the garage door code on my door. I’ve already changed the alarm code that my family knows. DH wants to get a lock for the backyard but I don’t see that as necessary since he can’t get into the house.

My mom was worried that if I have a playgroup at my house on Monday, and my dad tried to come in, that I would have to let him in. I said, “Why?”

She seems to think that just because other people are there, that I will be shamed into opening the door to my father. I said, “Why should I be ashamed that my dad is a jerk? He counts on that so that we do what he wants. We don’t lose face. It’s not our fault that he’s a bad person. I have nothing to be ashamed of. What he should be ashamed of is that he’s such a bad father that his own daughter won’t receive him.”

My mom has been cowering far too long. In fact, she’s letting him stay in the guest room during his stay – which I tried, in vain, to discourage her from allowing. My mom can be quite stupid. She claims that she is packing all his things and that if he doesn’t want them, she’ll donate them. But she is also thinking that my dad is a good person and won’t hurt her. He’s hurt her (and attempted to smother her) in the past. Why wouldn’t he do that now? He probably thinks he’s smarter than the police and if he did murder her, he would get away with it. My mom doesn’t think so.

I think she’s an idiot. So, I’ve enlisted my brother to try and persuade her not to let him in the house. But what can we really do? She’s a grown ass woman. Stupid and consistently makes poor decisions when it comes to my father, but I can’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want.

Plus, my dad is really mad at her because several of her friends have sent out massive email blasts saying that they want no more contact or information re: my dad. He says that my mother is turning all their friends against him, all their church friends against him, as well as his family. That even though it is his bad behavior, it is her fault because she didn’t stop him. *facepalm*

I told my mom, “You should have told him that he has humiliated you for over 30 years and that it is his own fault that people finally can say what he is truly like. You should be the angry one. He has made you lose face for 30 years and abused you in front of all your friends. He should be ashamed.”

Of course, my dad could never actually take responsibility for anything in his own life. God forbid he is at fault for something.

You know, for a dead guy, he sure pisses me off.

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