The last few days, I’ve been very mean to DS in the morning when he comes into our room at 5am or whatever. He has been so happy to see me and so excited that he is chipper and chatty and rather loud and generally, acting like a 2 year old (ie: incapable of talking at a low volume). This normally is somewhat of a problem because I want to go back to sleep.

However, since DD has been sleeping in our room, I get VERY annoyed and VERY angry. Poor boy has been yelled at to shut up too many times these past few days. (Ok, only two or three times, but that seems to me two or three times too many.) The look on DS’s face is a bit of betrayal and it makes me feel like the worst mom in the world.

So, I finally bit the bullet and have put DD in the nursery. It makes me very sad because with DS, I had him in our room until he was at least three or four months old. Of course, he DID sleep much better once we moved him (as I’m sure DD will as well), but I feel as if I am not treating the two babies equally and that somehow, this is showing favoritism to my eldest.

Honestly, this is just to adapt and recognize that my two year old boy is not going to learn to whisper. Preventing me from being a grade A ass to my darling boy is also a bonus. *sigh* I miss my little baby girl. I know she’s in the next room over but it does make nursing at night a wee more difficult. Thank goodness she is sleeping in much longer spurts.

I now have to convince myself that by putting DD in her own room already does not make me a bad mommy. It seems Mommy guilt can be found anywhere.