As many of you fine readers know, I can be a very critical ass – most especially to DH. Many of you (and rightly so, I imagine) also feel incredibly sorry for DH and the other day, in the midst of mentally screaming at something minor that DH did, I decided something:

In the future, when I encounter something DH does/did that I personally find annoying, stupid, aggravating, etc. but the actual thing is, in fact, quite minor and more of a preference (ie: NOT life-threatening, negligent, etc.), I will:

  1. Refrain from pointing said thing out to DH.(Trust me, even though I don’t point out all the offending things to DH, I still point out a ton of them. It makes DH very defensive and he instinctively reacts overly defensive – even in cases where I wasn’t criticizing him. What a truly awful thing to make someone you love feel.) 
  2. Remind myself of something that DH does that I am grateful for and/or truly appreciate.Nothing nips resentfulness and seething anger like a little gratefulness and perspective.
  3. Pray for DH. Of course, no cheating and praying for him to stop doing stupid things. I mean, reallypray for DH – for his good, for his health, etc. Whatever he may need.
  4. Reflect on one of my own short-comings and pray for change in that area. I know. You are all wondering, “How could this possibly be? She is so perfect and so wonderful!” But it is not so! I have many faults – and nothing makes a person more gracious and compassionate to others like having a good and realistic inventory of their own deep, deep character flaws.

Of course, not only can this apply to DH, it can be universal – especially when it pertains to my mother, MIL, and random people who can just annoy the crap out of me. Since I’ve decided to do this, I have had to apply it at least once a day. I know. You are not surprised.

My other resolutions are not nearly as character building, but here they are anyway:

  • Throw a party once a quarter.For New Year’s Eve, I threw a party for a lot of my friends with kids and had such a great time that I have decided to throw a gathering on a more regular basis. I am always amazed that people actually want to hang out with me (I tell you, waiting for those Evite RSVPs is an object lesson on insecurity!) and every time my friends attend something I throw, I am humbled and reminded that I am not the only lonely person out there. That my friends with newborns (tons of them lately) are all craving to be around other grown ups (especially if they are friends).
  • Read at least five New York Times NON-FLUFFY articles. You know, in an effort to be somewhat informed about the world around me.
  • Read one non-fiction book a month. Because as much as I love gorging on Regency Romances and speculative fiction, every now and then, I should actually try to feed my brain.

That’s it! More than that would be a bit too much, I think. Most of them should be pretty easy and doable (as well as FUN and enjoyable). It’s really only the first one that will e very hard. But I suppose, that will make me a better person, too.

Wish me luck!

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