On Friday, I was mortified when I called my favorite florist to have them deliver flowers to my mother today. (Her birthday was Saturday but she was out of town.) As soon as I mentioned the address and the name of my mother, the nice lady over the phone said, “I’ll make sure to add a box.” I was surprised she remembered the box and told her I was just about to mention it. She pretty much told me that my mom had yelled at the delivery guy and then called their shop to give them crap about not having boxes for the vases so my mom could take the vase home.

How supremely embarrassing. Both for myself and for my mother. Can you imagine being remembered because of the complete bitch you are? Particularly since the main florist there is a “friend” or at least a business acquaintance. That’s just terrible of my mother. And of course, I’m sure she’d think that she was perfectly fine and justified and polite when she called in. But she isn’t. My mom can be a most righteous bitch.

I’m pretty sure the last time I had flowers delivered to her was Mother’s Day. That was almost nine months ago – and they STILL remember. That’s so sad.

I’m screwed. How can I possibly be a non-assholish person when my mother is a bitch (and cold and pushy and demanding and high maintenance) and my dad is a complete douche and my paternal grandmother (our whole family, really) is an overcritical bitch? *sigh* I really had no chance!

I can’t remember if I mentioned this before, but on Christmas, when my grand-aunt, who is seriously, the nicest person in our entire family, asked my mother if I had any soy sauce in the house. My mom, replied, “Why wouldn’t she have soy sauce?” in the same tone I often snark at my mother. I was floored at the time, and then things clicked into place. THIS is where I learned it from!! My mom could have easily said, “Yes, she has soy sauce.” But no! She was a total bitch!

DH gloated and seemed unreasonably delighted in this discovery. hahaha.

I do not want to be remembered by vendors because I am such a bitch. I do not want to treat people as if they are beneath contempt. But more than that, I do not want my children to continue this sin. I’ll give them new ones and they’ll create their own, just fine – but if I can help it, I want to be better than I am for their sake. My children truly have made me want to be a better person.

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