Now, before I continue, I realize fully that I am a snob. And judgmental. And an ass. So, now that we have that cleared up… on with the semi-rant.

A friend of mine, JL, and his wife, DL, just had identical twin girls about six weeks ago. These twins are colicky and refusing to sleep and basically cry all the time. As a result, there are many posts on FB from them both (but especially DL) about their crying and breastfeeding and all sorts of justifiable complaints. The other night, I had posted on FB my starting to sleep train DD and how even though she didn’t cry much, it still sucked to hear her do so. DL asked in my comments whether or not that was something she and her husband should start doing. I told her that her babies were far too young and that it was NORMAL for her babies to cry and not sleep through the night. (Especially since they just hit 6 pounds.)

Ok. I know that she is in a sleep-deprived state. I will even allow that she is nearing the end of her rope and I have no problem with her actual question/comment. What I am amazed at is her apparent lack of understanding how to use Google. I suppose this is a bad example of that, but it’s the one that spurred my thoughts for this post. (It’s been bugging me since Wednesday. How sad for me.)

This is not the first time she’s had questions about breastfeeding or sleep training or twins or babies. I get that using FB as a crowd source for information is quick and stuff, but SERIOUSLY? It took me five seconds to Google her questions and come up with a reasonable answer among the top five results. (Even if I was pretty sure I was right, I still Googled just in case.) Doesn’t it take longer to ask people on FB (as well as risk looking stupid – which, come to think of it, isn’t a valid reason NOT to post a question, so kudos to her for doing so) and wait for their responses (as well as find their advice perhaps questionable)?

Further more, when I private messaged her about what books or resources she’s already accessed to try and help, (after all, I personally hate being advised on crap I’ve already tried, so I first wanted to see what she had already done), she mentioned that she hadn’t read or researched anything. Not even asked her pediatrician. OMG WHAT? Might I also add that her husband is a DOCTOR? Granted, a general surgeon so he knows next to nothing about babies, but GEEZ!! Doesn’t he know OTHER DOCTORS?

If this were a decade ago, I might find it excusable. After all, going to the library or buying books requires the ability to leave the house – and newborns, let alone TWINS, makes that supremely difficult. HOWEVER, we live in the age of Google, wikipedia, Kellymom, WebMD, La Leche League, libraries that allow you to put books on hold ONLINE, Amazon, that I find it utterly astounding that she had attempted NONE OF THESE THINGS.

HOW? WHAT? WHY? REALLY?

I mean, is it a personality quirk? The fact that she’s only 25ish? Lazy? From Minnesota? Too tired? But if she’s tired, etc. then she really doesn’t want to solve the problem because – OMG if I hadn’t had sleep and knew that with a few mouse clicks I could possibly find the solution, I WOULD DO IT IMMEDIATELY. I mean, I AM BOGGLED.

Am I just a complete snob? When I was pregnant with DS, I read at least 4-5 books on pregnancy and read up on breastfeeding, sleep stuff, etc. When I had DS, I kept reading up on the first year, breastfeeding, sleep training, etc. The library and the internet were my friends. I also asked my friends and mothers’ groups, but those were supplemental. I have found that almost all the women I know who became mothers did this.

Is it because I am so close to the 1% that I live in a bubble of privilege? Her husband’s a DOCTOR!! It’s not like they’re not in the same bubble!! Plus, even if she can’t do any of these things, WHY ISN’T HER HUSBAND/MY FRIEND DOING ANY OF IT?

I just… I just… I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE IT.

I guess this did turn into a rant. Also, sorry about the excessive use of CAPSLOCK. I just… *sigh*

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