I totally forgot to mention this after our LA/SD trip. Remember my friend, B, who decided she no longer wanted to be friends? Well, when I went to visit some of our mutual college friends in SD this past May, B messaged me on Facebook saying that she wanted to hang out with our mutual friend, A. However, the only time A was free to see B was during our group hangout time at another friend’s house. B wanted to know if she could crash the hangout time (but she totally understood if I didn’t want that to happen). I said it was fine. I was under no delusion that B actually wanted to see me.

Well, it was good to see her. Not because I actually enjoyed her company. (I didn’t. It was weird and awkward.) But because it served a powerful lesson. I realized that I was not missing out with B not being in my life. In fact, I was shocked and constantly confronted with this thought that B was really quite the Debbie Downer. She was truly a negative person. Now, B is going through a tough time with her mom (her mom, I think, is dying) and that does put a damper on everything. I am not suggesting that B should go around pretending to be happy when she is not. However, I never realized that she has ALWAYS been like this. Everything is horrible or sad or whatever. Or everything is beautiful and joyful and wonderful.

I never truly realized that for two of the most significant events in my life (my wedding and my pregnancy), she was unhappy about them BOTH and took a long time to be happy for me because of her issues. AND, I allowed her to color those experiences for me. (Of course, I still had an awesome time, but I went out of my way to be “sensitive.”) (Come to think of it, she was really against me dating DH, too.)

When seriously, FUCK THAT SHIT. It was my fucking wedding and my first pregnancy. B should’ve just sucked it up and LIED. Yeah, I said it. She should have lied and acted like it was awesome even though she was a complete wretch. Seriously, all of DH’s groomsmen thought she was mean. And if enough people think that, it’s probably true.

So, what is the point of my rambling? Merely this. I am glad she’s no longer in my life. I am GRATEFUL. Of course, she was a good friend for a long time and I do cherish my times with her. But I am no longer the person I was (Thank the Good Lord) and we are no longer good for each other. I am glad I got a chance to realize that.

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