I’ve never had a problem with the theories of spanking. I think it’s fine and normal to spank children (within reason) and it’s not a case of child abuse, etc. However, recently, I’ve decided to put a moratorium on spanking DS.

I realized, in my case (and with great shame), that when I allow myself to spank DS, it becomes an all too easy resort. Because DS can be disobedient (you know, because he’s 2.5), it becomes all too easy for me to just jump to threatening spanking, or once I “break the seal,” so to speak, on spanking, to spank for even stupid and small infractions. I also find myself getting angrier more quickly – and starting to spank a little harder than necessary.

And I think, because I have such a huge temper, and a history of violence in my family from my father, that I really could see myself going over the edge and hurting DS. Not intentionally, of course, but I would just die of shame and guilt and grief if I were to cross the line into abuse and hurting (not just physically – but spiritually) my darling, sweet boy.

It was getting to the point where every time DS got in trouble, his hands would go immediately to cover his butt. I think that’s when you know you’re spanking too much. 😦 So, I am no longer going to threaten with spankings, spank, or hit DS. (I reserve the right to spank in swift and immediate fashion for safety reasons, though. I am ok with a spanking if it prevents him from running into traffic. Yes, that has happened.)

My boy is too precious for me to tumble down the slippery slope of physical violence. Plus, he was starting to hit and I found it hypocritical to hit him for hitting. It is hard to admit this, but there it is. I was a lousy parent. 😦

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