Gah. Seems like every time I leave, I get used to not posting and then Poof! A month or more goes by and I haven’t updated.

So, here are some funny stories about the kiddos in the last few weeks:

1) We were at a park one day and some boys a little older than DS were playing with each other and DS happened to be near them. They were saying, “Come on!” to each other and DS thought they were talking to him so he followed them around for at least 10 minutes. They were good sports and all had a good time chasing each other and running around.

2) Unfortunately, we had a bad experience with the landlady at the house we were staying at and I started using her as a threat to keep the kids quiet. I didn’t realize how often I was doing that until DD was being noisy and DS told her that the person upstairs was going to come down and that we didn’t want that.

3) For awhile, DS kept either saying, “What’s going on here?” or “Something [sic] going on here!” in a Grover voice (his serious voice). So funny. He often talks in his Grover voice when he is being very serious.

4) DH put DS in shorts on one of the first few hot days of the year and DS said, “I’ll be cold.” DH asked, “Do you want me to get pants for you?” DS said, “That would be better.”

5) It was super hot one day and DS was in shorts and DD was just in a dress. DS was very worried that DD was not wearing pants.

6) While peeing one day, DS told me (in Chinglish) that his pee comes out from a 洞洞 (hole) in his penis.

7) While I was folding laundry one day, DD picked up my giant underwear and walked around with it over her head, around her neck. I was both amused and mortified.

8) One night, I was trying to get the kids to sleep. I was so annoyed that I yelled at DD, “Go to sleep!” She sat up and yelled back, “NO!”

9) After bath time one day, I asked DS if DD had a penis. He said, “No. 她有屁股 (She has a butt)!”

10) Then, I tried to teach him how to say, “Vagina.” Now, he says DD has a “Gagina.”

11) While grocery shopping, DD kept standing up in the cart. I lightly smacked her on the back of her hand and then she hit me back. Twice. HARD!

12) Sometimes, DD will hit DS on the head and then say, “Ouch!” and hold out her hand for me to kiss.

13) Now, when I tell DS to do something, he’ll reply, “I know, Mommy! I know!”

14) DD has started telling me when she’s pooped or peed or farted. She calls them all poo. LOL. I am semi-starting to potty train her in a half-assed manner.

15) When I finally switched DS’s car seat to forward facing (he is too close to the weight limit for rear-facing), he was very upset because he still wanted to face backwards. DD was upset because she wanted to be facing forward like DS. DS is the ONLY kid I know who was upset about turning the car seat around.

16) Because DD cosleeps with us, she often hogs my pillow. Often, if I am taking up too much space on my own damn pillow, she will yell at me, “Move!”

17) Somehow, between the last cold and now, DS has stopped liking to take medicine. BLARGH.

18) The other day, DD ordered me to do the following: “Chip. Now. Me.” I didn’t even know she could say, “Now,” let alone know what it means.

19) Yesterday morning, DD started crying because she wanted to wear a different dress. I don’t even think she cared what dress it was that she was wearing because she literally just chose the next top dress in the dresser. She just didn’t want to wear anything I chose.

20) I was just putting down DD for a nap and she started to fake snore.

Ok. That should last a bit, right? You don’t expect me to post again?

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