Kids


I think I will have to reduce my posting schedule here to once a week (most likely on Thursdays). I may have just picked up a small copywriting job, and then I’ll be having a baby, and then I have that other blog that is gaining traction, so I may have bitten off more than I can chew. HOWEVER, since this is my anonymous blog and where I keep my updates about my kids, I definitely want to continue some sort of schedule. *sigh* Sorry such a meta paragraph. Anyhow, below are the stories that you actually want to here.

1) The kids are giving each other time outs. DD keeps saying to DS, “Two minutes! Two minutes!”

2) DS and DD are each arguing that they are funny. “I funny!” “No, I funny!” When I said they were both funny, they both laughed their fake laugh. They are hilarious.

3) DD keeps drawing “dinosaurs.” Of course they look nothing like it, but it’s cute. I think she drew at least 4-5 today.

4) DS asked me, “What’s up?” I found it too funny.

5) DS told me this morning that DD was Chris and he was Mart (as in Martin) from The Wild Kratts. It’s because she was wearing green and he was wearing blue. (Those are the Kratt brothers’ respective colors.)

6) I find it so funny that DD will roll up her leggings into shorts. For some reason, it’s very comical to me.

7) DS keeps singing 哈哈笑 (Haha Laughing Song), 火車快飛 (Fast Train Song), and 小猴子 (Little Monkey Song). I think he misses school.

8) DS keeps thinking the baby in my tummy will be his cousin, MD. (It’s because we call them all, Didi, which means, “Little Brother.”) I told him THIS baby was HIS Didi. MD Didi wasn’t his. DS told me that he doesn’t want HIS Didi. He wanted MD Didi. I don’t think he understood. DH told me to explain it to DD – she would get it. That is both mean and hilarious.

9) Induction date is all set for Monday 8/19/14. SO SOON and yet, not soon enough!

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DH finally figured out why DS thinks Papa has a vagina and a penis. He thinks the pubic hair is the vagina. He also pointed at DH’s face and said, “Gina face! Gina mouth!” OMG. Can’t stop laughing.

Then, because we couldn’t stop laughing, DS decided to attach “Gina” before everything. “Gina peacock!” “Gina teddy bear!” We had to tell him that wasn’t something he could do.

What’s even funnier is that when DH lets his goatee run wild and hasn’t shaved in awhile, I complain to him and tell him to go shave his “vadge face.” Clearly, the thought runs in the family.

But at least one great mystery has been solved.

The last few days, I’ve had at least an hour of labor (obviously, now, Braxton Hicks). It’s so sad how even though this is my third baby, I have no idea what labor is. I mean, I went through labor with DS, but that was 3.5+ years ago! And for DD, I was induced and had an epidural almost immediately, so I didn’t experience ANY pain. So, when I was having contractions every 3-5 minutes for an hour yesterday, I was a little worried. We had nothing ready.

Today, I washed all the baby clothes, put in the infant car seat, and got a bunch more stuff ready. (Just in case!) All I have left is to rearrange our master bedroom (and all the toys and books) so that I can put in a pack n play. That’s about it.

2.5 more weeks before induction! I think DS2 is getting impatient. He’s is kicking the crap out of me from the insides. I thought they weren’t supposed to move around as much during the end because they have less room? I don’t think any of my kids have ever gotten that memo.

Anyhow, if you don’t see any posts for awhile, I might’ve had my baby. LOL.

Until DS2 arrives!!! It seems so soon! But I almost done with my To-Do list so that pleases me greatly. 🙂

Also, DH started his new job this Monday. Let me just say that I’m floundering without him. I totally forgot what it is to actually raise children. My kids are watching way too much TV and iPad. I tell myself this is temporary and that I think DS went through this phase when I was close to my due date with DD, too. And I cut back and it was fine. *sigh*

Why is it so easy to slip into NON-parenting?

DH seems to like his new job. He’s been working late the first three days because his first week at work coincided with a big sales thing for his company. The kids really miss him and when he finally gets home, they are SO EXCITED to see him. I think it makes DH happy to see that the kids love him so much. They really just clamber all over him. So sweet.

DH is such a great guy, too. On Sunday night, the night before his first day at the new job, he totally cleaned the kitchen and tidied up downstairs. I asked him why and he said, “Don’t you have a playgroup coming over tomorrow? I just wanted to make it easier for you.”

He is a totally awesome man. I am truly blessed.

*sigh* I’m so sorry, little blog. I do not mean to ignore you. (Actually, I just skipped one day. Sorry!!!) To make up for it, I bring stories of kiddos.

1) This morning, DS and DD opened up the door to the garage, opened up the garage door, and ran down the driveway while I was in the bathroom. WTF.

2) I think DD likes coloring with markers just so she gets her hands dirty (she sticks her fingers in the caps). That way, she can wash them. She loves to wash her hands.

3) DD clocked me in the head this morning because she didn’t get what she wanted. This girl!!

4) I was discussing with some of my friends what type of business we should start together (FWIW, I think it’s a terrible idea), they said we should start a kids’ consignment store. But I negated that saying we’d have to have inventory and a place to rent. I said I should just be a surrogate and get paid $40k per baby. DH said he would punch me nonstop in the face if I did that. So I guess he prefers the consignment store idea. LOL.

5) I swear the kids are masterminding some type of thing against me. They keep setting me up with mutually exclusive requests demands. If DS wants to go right, DD wants to go left. If DS wants to watch a show, DD immediately says she doesn’t want that show. It’s driving me up the wall. I just end up ignoring them both while they scream their brains out simultaneously.

6) Yesterday morning, both kids were screaming and crying. DS wanted almonds (which we didn’t have – because you bet your ass if I did, I would’ve been shoving them in his pie hole just so he would STFU). DD wanted to eat a chocolate bunny – which I didn’t let her have. Then, they switched to crying because DD was so mad at me she punched DS in the head. (See a recurring pattern here?)

7) I asked DD for a 梳子 (shu zi or comb) and she came back with a 書 (shu or book). Chinese homonyms are awesome!

8) DS and DD were arguing the other day over whether or not DD was funny. DD says, “I funny!” DS replies, “Not funny!” Granted, at the time, she was insisting she was funny because she ruined and destroyed something he made. LOL. Totally understandable.

9) In related news, DD now thinks that she can get away with whatever she does as long as she smiles and says, “I funny!”

10) DS gets very involved while watching movies. He’s an extrovert for sure! And he’s a lot like my mother. “What’s happening? Why is he doing that? What is he doing? Where is he going? etc.” On Saturday, he was watching Ice Age for the first time and I guess there’s a part where a woman jumps off a cliff and he SCREAMED. Not just any scream, a full on blood-curdling scream. Because he was so worried. It was sweet. I think I have to really screen his movies.

11) Once, while DH was changing DD’s poopy diaper, DS asked, “Why does DD’s pigu (butt) change colors from black to red?”

12) On Friday, I overheard DH pleading with the kids, “Please, can you both be normal?” They were both crying because they wanted the same fork. There was nothing they could use the fork on at the time.

13) DD likes to wear my bras.

14) One time when DD was asleep, she started shaking her head, “No” very vigorously. I laughed because she is also contrary – even in her dreams!

15) DS climbed a rope ladder at the park and said he was Spiderman. He doesn’t really know who Spiderman is. He also talks about pirates a lot. But again, he doesn’t really know what a pirate is. Case in point, a few weeks ago, he called a hair clip a pirate that was coming to eat me.

16) DD mixes up her English and Chinese words all the time in an awesome Chinglish concoction. Instead of “不可以” DD says, “No可以.” (Which is No, you can’t.)

Ok, hopefully that satisfies you for now. I will now get to writing tomorrow’s post. 😉

Here are some more stories of the kiddies.

1) DS has been saying that he has a baby in his tummy, just like DH and DD do, too. Like Mommy. Because Mommy has to share!

2) DD likes to jump up and fall down (she can’t really jump yet, but she’ll bounce on the bed and then flop on her pillow) while saying, “Ribbit! Ribbit!” In fact, both the kids like to pretend they are frogs and jump up and down and yell, “Ribbit! Ribbit!”

3) DD thinks it’s hilarious to say she pooped when she really peed, and vice versa. When we are changing her diaper, we’ll say, “Did you peepee?” And DD will respond, “No, poopoo!” Or the opposite for the other scenario. It is hilarious.

4) DD and DS like to purposely make me choose between two things that are mutually exclusive. If DS wants to watch one show, DD demands another. If DD wants to go upstairs, DS demands to stay downstairs. I think they do it on purpose – to see who is the more alpha among them. That way, I have to choose – and whoever I choose wins. Or something. They are devious little children.

5) Currently, they are both obsessed with seeing pictures and videos of DS as a baby. I don’t know why.

6) Sometimes, when DD is crying or upset, DS will comfort her and hug her and tell her, “It’s OK, DD.” And go on to explain that Mommy will be back soon or that she needs to go to sleep. It’s super sweet. I love how they cozy in bed together, too.

7) It really makes me happy to see my two kids interact. They often play very well together and have very detailed conversations that I can only half follow.

Clearly, I am the mayor of this establishment. Last night, right before midnight, I became absolutely obsessed with finding out when my infant car seat expired. Then, I got annoyed that my infant car seat expires in 12/2014. It won’t affect baby #3, but that means I will likely have to buy a new one for baby #4. Or scrounge around friends and see if their old car seats are not expiring until end of 2015 or mid 2016.

So what did I do? I spent over half an hour researching infant car seats for a hypothetical problem for a hypothetical baby when my THIRD child is as yet, UNBORN. WTF is wrong with me, besides the obvious?

Carry on, normal people. 

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