Thoughts About Christians


So, what am I looking for in a church? Several things:

1) Teaching of the Word – I’m not so much interested in what topics in particular, but how the church/pastor goes about it. Does the pastor choose a topic and then cherrypicks throughout the Bible to find passages that support his theory? (I particularly HATE this method because the passages are often taken out of context and seriously, in this case, I could make a case for many a weird and horrible thing.)

Personally, I’ve always preferred preaching/teaching that starts with a block of text and then expounds on that. What is the author of this Bible passage trying to tell us about God? What are some interesting things that might not have occurred to me about this passage? And of course, most importantly, how can this be applied to my life? Because without that final application, it doesn’t matter how many godly things I may learn about. My life will not change.

2) Diversity in the congregations – This can take on many forms. The church can be diverse in age, race, socio-economic background, immigration status, etc. I find that I am most comfortable with the diversity in race and age. I’m not as comfortable with different classes. That’s just to say that I’m an elitist. *sigh*

3) People I like – It’s shallow but what’s the point of growing in a community of people if you don’t like the people? (Not that you can’t be a jerk and start off hating everybody and then growing and changing and liking people. But you know, I’m not a jerk. At least, not always.)

4) Community Growth – It’s a bit of a combo between 1 and 3. I really miss the inductive Bible studies from my college days. (Can you believe it’s been over a decade already? Gosh, I feel so old sometimes.) I have enjoyed studying books with groups of people. Even when I have to constantly stifle my inner critic and elitist and force myself not to judge the people based on the quality or lack thereof (in my personal opinion) of the discussion. After all, that is just character growth because, as I’ve mentioned, I can be somewhat of a jackass.

5) Children’s Program – Most churches I think will do just fine in this department. Nothing like a bunch of Sunday School kids and curriculum. Although, I think I will be one of those annoying parents that will have trained their kids to constantly question things. I have a beef with some children’s programs, but it’s truly tough. (Mostly, I hate the way the Bible is taught – but I suppose it has to be age appropriate. But why is the mass genocide of Noah’s flood recast as a cute zoo exhibit? I find that exceedingly creepy.)

Anyhow, those are just the things that stick out to me. What about you guys? Anything in particular you look for in a church (or place of worship)?

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I sent this blog link to a few of my closest friends. Anonymity with them isn’t an issue because I overshare with them already in real life. But of course, now that I know I have readers (well, at least one!) and while that gratifies the self-centered exhibitionist within me, it also forces my ugly, self-protective and image conscious self out glaringly to the surface. And nowhere does it do that the most when it comes to race.

You see, I wanted to talk about how I am looking (albeit, very passively) for a church to start attending and put down roots. But I immediately began to self-edit because I don’t want to sound racist to my own friends. (Of course, we are everyone at least a little bit racist. But no one wants to SEEM racist.)

But whatever. I do not want to edit myself on my own damn blog because I want to look better than I really am. So, here we go.

Where I live, there is a glut of churches – but most of them are white-culture dominant. I really do not want that because of all places, I want to be as authentic as possible within a church environment. (But who is to say that race is what would make me more authentic?) I also want as little explaining as possible – especially if it pertains to sharing issues about race. I do not want to have to constantly reach across the divide and explain. I do that everyday (albeit, it’s really not that rough because let’s be honest, I grew up in this area and I am a product of my upbringing. It’s not that bad). With people of my same cultural and racial background, (as long as we’re of similar enough socio-economic class) there is a cultural shorthand. Of course, there is a cultural shorthand to white-dominant situations, too. Every minority has learned it and knows it. But the opposite is so rarely true.

On the other hand, Asian-culture dominant church environments also have their baggage and I balk at a lot of THOSE cultural expectations as well. But they do have the added benefit of exposing my kids to my first language (although I would say English is my dominant language – my language of dreams, so to speak) and people of my ethnic background. And let’s face it, here’s the main reason: I would feel more comfortable.

Everything always boils down to comfort. Now, of course, race is not the only factor in a church I want to attend. In fact, multi-ethnic congregations are what I would like to see, but with a purpose. I want to go someplace where race is acknowledged and discussed and not swept up into a taboo area. But is it the most important thing for me? No.

What is most important to me in a church? Tune in next time! haha! No, seriously. Some other time. I’m tired.

Ah well. The solution to all this, of course, is very simple. I just won’t go to church! hahahah. I’m sure my husband would LOVE that and heartily approve. 😉

Whenever I think of my boy, the first line of the song, Come What May, from Moulin Rouge comes into my mind. Ah heck, other than the part about wanting to vanish inside his kiss, the whole song makes me weepy and describes very accurately about how I feel about DS.

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I’ve never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste
It all revolves around you

And there’s no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I’ll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh come what may, come what may
I will love you

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place…

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Come What May from Moulin Rouge

Here’s the thing: I knew I would love my children. I just never suspected HOW MUCH. And I never EVER imagined that I would take to being a Mommy (or even a SAHM) like a duck to water. I absolutely love spending practically all my time with DS. Granted, every now and then, I go a little stir-crazy and have to Go Somewhere. Anywhere. But I am shocked to say that since he was born about a year ago, I have yet to feel any resentment about my life being no longer only about me.

I think I finally found what I was always meant to be. DS’s Mommy. (And hopefully, God willing, a few more babies’s Mommy.)

Here’s the other thing. I never knew that love could expand ever more and more. I mean, I love my husband. He’s a good man and sweet and funny and mine. But, DS is MINE. MINE MINE MINE until some future woman (or man, I suppose – not sure how I feel about that just yet) makes him theirs.

It blew me away, the depth of my love for DS. And to think, that God’s love for us is infinitely greater than my love for DS. How is that even possible considering that my love for DS is SO BIG? Ridiculous, I know, to limit the infinite God by my lack of imagination (but isn’t that what I do about most things related to God?). But it still boggles my mind.

I never knew I could feel like this.