*sigh* I’m so sorry, little blog. I do not mean to ignore you. (Actually, I just skipped one day. Sorry!!!) To make up for it, I bring stories of kiddos.

1) This morning, DS and DD opened up the door to the garage, opened up the garage door, and ran down the driveway while I was in the bathroom. WTF.

2) I think DD likes coloring with markers just so she gets her hands dirty (she sticks her fingers in the caps). That way, she can wash them. She loves to wash her hands.

3) DD clocked me in the head this morning because she didn’t get what she wanted. This girl!!

4) I was discussing with some of my friends what type of business we should start together (FWIW, I think it’s a terrible idea), they said we should start a kids’ consignment store. But I negated that saying we’d have to have inventory and a place to rent. I said I should just be a surrogate and get paid $40k per baby. DH said he would punch me nonstop in the face if I did that. So I guess he prefers the consignment store idea. LOL.

5) I swear the kids are masterminding some type of thing against me. They keep setting me up with mutually exclusive requests demands. If DS wants to go right, DD wants to go left. If DS wants to watch a show, DD immediately says she doesn’t want that show. It’s driving me up the wall. I just end up ignoring them both while they scream their brains out simultaneously.

6) Yesterday morning, both kids were screaming and crying. DS wanted almonds (which we didn’t have – because you bet your ass if I did, I would’ve been shoving them in his pie hole just so he would STFU). DD wanted to eat a chocolate bunny – which I didn’t let her have. Then, they switched to crying because DD was so mad at me she punched DS in the head. (See a recurring pattern here?)

7) I asked DD for a 梳子 (shu zi or comb) and she came back with a 書 (shu or book). Chinese homonyms are awesome!

8) DS and DD were arguing the other day over whether or not DD was funny. DD says, “I funny!” DS replies, “Not funny!” Granted, at the time, she was insisting she was funny because she ruined and destroyed something he made. LOL. Totally understandable.

9) In related news, DD now thinks that she can get away with whatever she does as long as she smiles and says, “I funny!”

10) DS gets very involved while watching movies. He’s an extrovert for sure! And he’s a lot like my mother. “What’s happening? Why is he doing that? What is he doing? Where is he going? etc.” On Saturday, he was watching Ice Age for the first time and I guess there’s a part where a woman jumps off a cliff and he SCREAMED. Not just any scream, a full on blood-curdling scream. Because he was so worried. It was sweet. I think I have to really screen his movies.

11) Once, while DH was changing DD’s poopy diaper, DS asked, “Why does DD’s pigu (butt) change colors from black to red?”

12) On Friday, I overheard DH pleading with the kids, “Please, can you both be normal?” They were both crying because they wanted the same fork. There was nothing they could use the fork on at the time.

13) DD likes to wear my bras.

14) One time when DD was asleep, she started shaking her head, “No” very vigorously. I laughed because she is also contrary – even in her dreams!

15) DS climbed a rope ladder at the park and said he was Spiderman. He doesn’t really know who Spiderman is. He also talks about pirates a lot. But again, he doesn’t really know what a pirate is. Case in point, a few weeks ago, he called a hair clip a pirate that was coming to eat me.

16) DD mixes up her English and Chinese words all the time in an awesome Chinglish concoction. Instead of “不可以” DD says, “No可以.” (Which is No, you can’t.)

Ok, hopefully that satisfies you for now. I will now get to writing tomorrow’s post. 😉

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Here are some more stories of the kiddies.

1) DS has been saying that he has a baby in his tummy, just like DH and DD do, too. Like Mommy. Because Mommy has to share!

2) DD likes to jump up and fall down (she can’t really jump yet, but she’ll bounce on the bed and then flop on her pillow) while saying, “Ribbit! Ribbit!” In fact, both the kids like to pretend they are frogs and jump up and down and yell, “Ribbit! Ribbit!”

3) DD thinks it’s hilarious to say she pooped when she really peed, and vice versa. When we are changing her diaper, we’ll say, “Did you peepee?” And DD will respond, “No, poopoo!” Or the opposite for the other scenario. It is hilarious.

4) DD and DS like to purposely make me choose between two things that are mutually exclusive. If DS wants to watch one show, DD demands another. If DD wants to go upstairs, DS demands to stay downstairs. I think they do it on purpose – to see who is the more alpha among them. That way, I have to choose – and whoever I choose wins. Or something. They are devious little children.

5) Currently, they are both obsessed with seeing pictures and videos of DS as a baby. I don’t know why.

6) Sometimes, when DD is crying or upset, DS will comfort her and hug her and tell her, “It’s OK, DD.” And go on to explain that Mommy will be back soon or that she needs to go to sleep. It’s super sweet. I love how they cozy in bed together, too.

7) It really makes me happy to see my two kids interact. They often play very well together and have very detailed conversations that I can only half follow.

So, there are all these ants in the house which really upsets DS. He kept telling me to, “清清螞蟻 (Clean up the ants)!” But DD thinks he is saying, “親親螞蟻 (Kiss the ants)!” (They are pronounced the same way in Chinese.) so she goes up to the ants and kisses them.

I didn’t understand why she was doing it at first, but once I figured it out, I couldn’t stop laughing.

On a different note, DH is awesome and I never have to watch my children again until he goes back to work. He takes them out from about 8am-1pm just walking around trails, going to parks, the library, community center, wherever, and utterly tires them out. When he goes back to work, the whole family (especially me) will cry except DH who will breathe a huge sigh of relief. What an awesome dad. 😀

1) It’s always fun to hear DS or DD tell the other almost word for word what I lecture them on a daily basis. A few days ago, DS gave DD something and then proceeded to say, “Say ‘Thank you, 哥哥 (big brother)!'”

2) When I tell DD to clean up, she waits and stalls until DS gets impatient and does it for her. LOL. She thinks she’s so smart. Poor DS. Already doing his sister’s bidding. Unfortunately, I still make her clean up stuff and when she refuses, she gets put in time out.

3) DS took out his balance bike the other evening and his friend, V, told him that she had one in her garage, too. Then she asked DS if she could ride his bike. He said, “No. You go home and ride YOUR bike, ok?”

4) I gave DD a cookie and she said, “兩個 (two)!” I’m just impressed she knew the difference between 1 and 2. LOL.

About the kids, of course. LOL.

1) Today, after DD’s time out, DS asked DD why she had a time out. Then he told her what she did wrong and that it was ok. Then he told her to go to Mommy. Heehee. It’s pretty much a word for word debrief that we hold after every time out.

2) I finally bought some washable markers (vs the non-washable kind that I had before) and DS is really enjoying them. Plus, I got some less child-proof scissors and he’s enjoying cutting up paper. Apparently, he really likes arts and crafts at school and just sat at our little table for a good 20-30 minutes coloring and cutting paper.

3) DD copies everything DS says, even if it’s incorrectly pronounced. She now says, “He me (麼)?” instead of  “She me (什麼)?” (Which means, “What?” or “What is this?”)

4) When DD doesn’t want to go upstairs or have her time out, she runs and hides in our play tent. If I go into the tent to get her, she laughs hysterically because she thinks it’s a game.

5) DD loves to watch videos of herself. (Just like DS.) She spent about an hour the other night just watching videos of herself over and over. If I stopped or didn’t put a video on fast enough, she would point to the screen and say, “DD!” and cries.

6) A few weeks ago, DS made an animal bead necklace at school and ever since then, DD and DS constantly fight over it. So today, DS decided to make DD her own necklace. As he was making it, he stopped only after putting on a few beads. The teacher asked him if he was going to put more on and he said, “No. It’s a small one for DD.”

7) Because we borrow books from the library, a lot of times, the pages are a little ripped (or my kids rip them). As a result, we are constantly taping. However, lately, the kids have gone tape CRAZY. They see rips where there aren’t any and insist on taping everything. If they had their way, they would tape the whole book.

8) Last week, DS accidentally poked DD in the face with a fork. He knew he did something bad, but I was mad and poked the fork in his face. (Perhaps a little harder than I should have.) He cried and cried. But I don’t think he’ll poke her in the face again.

9) Before that, DS bit DD’s finger on purpose. Since he didn’t want to go in a time out, I made him give me his finger and then I bit him. I told him that every time he bites DS, I will bite him. I am a mean mommy.

10) A few weeks ago, DD went through almost every dress in her closet (some several times) – at least 10 outfit changes – until she finally settled on a t-shirt and shorts. Thank goodness we had clothes in the hamper.

That’s all I can remember for now. 🙂

So sorry. Forgot to post yesterday. In my defense, I was busy being the worst mom ever. *sigh* I think other than my children eating some strawberries and tofu (not together) and maybe some yogurt, the majority of their diet yesterday consisted of chips, cookies, crackers, snacks, and whatever. I’m not sure I really interacted with my kids because my nose was buried in a book. They may have watched a lot of TV and played a lot with the iPhone. Had minimal naps. Ran amok in general and I really didn’t intervene until someone started crying. Hey, I’m fostering independence!

Then, I made them go to bed early because the night before, they had stayed up late because both DH and I were out at separate events and they didn’t want to listen to my mom. Then, I snuck downstairs, ate a bunch of chips for dinner, and watched the season finale for The Vampire Diaries. Then I felt guilty.

I’m sure THEY had a good time (I was also “babysitting” two other kids) running amok around the house screaming and playing and eating snacks. And I suppose as long as this isn’t an every day occurrence. it’s not horrible. But man, is it tempting to just check out while parenting. *sigh* I blame smartphones.

Today, I WILL BE A BETTER MOMMY. After I finish my new book.

Betcha thought I would be MIA for another lengthy period of time, eh? Well, I showed you. :p

The visit was pretty fun and low key. My allergies and sinus congestion kicked my ass and by Saturday night, I couldn’t move my head without it feeling as if a sledgehammer were slamming into the base of my skull. I broke down and took allergy meds and tylenol sinus. Poor DH. He basically took care of both kids from Thursday through Monday. 

My nephew (DN) is Super CUTE. His head is SO. ROUND. And he has no neck. Lol. The kiddos really enjoyed watching him take a bath. But other than that, he was a blobby 3 month old. They don’t do much other than eat, pee, poop, and sleep. It was really good to see him and hold him in the flesh. The next time I see him, he’ll be 11 months old and most likely walking already. No longer a blobby thing but a REAL PERSON. So exciting! But so sad to watch him grow up from afar.

Understandably, DH was really frustrated for the majority of the trip because when I’m out of commission, he’s stuck with the kids. That would be fine normally, but if I’m home, the kids want ME even though they can’t have me. So half of his time is telling them, “No, Mommy is sleeping.” They did have several fun walks to the park, pet store (cheapest, free-est zoo ever!), and frozen yogurt shop. He was constantly saying that we were never traveling again and that once we have three kids, we are never leaving the house or taking a plane. Car seats are a real pain in the ass to schlep.

It was also good for my brother and SIL to see DD in her full personality vs a sad, sicko with a UTI during Christmas. She was definitely feisty. And DS was homesick and the first night, already wanted to go home. He kept asking for his big, white car. He did NOT like the small, white car we rented. They both did well on the airplane (no screaming tantrums) and they’ve mostly switched back from East Coast time. They were little pills on Tuesday, but that’s not TOO unusual. 

Plus, we also squeezed in a visit with a friend from UCLA. That was awesome. 🙂 And then, due to the powers of Facebook, an acquaintance happened to post about his church festival in MD and we went there, too. Random and fun for DS. (DD was asleep in the car.) Added bonus: free hot dogs. DH was happy about that. 🙂

Ok. We’re back and there are no more trips planned in the near future. I’m in my 6th month of pregnancy after all. (Although, we were thinking of taking a trip to the Sequoias or Redwoods.) See you soon!