My MIL came for Easter weekend and DS LOVED it. It really does make me happy to see her and DS (and in the future, DD) bond and like each other more and more. Of course, she does get on my last nerve, but my MIL goes out of her way to incorporate what I’ve mentioned to her in the past. For instance, she greatly watches what she says around the kids now. I didn’t hear one single, “How stupid of me!” or really, anything terribly negative from her.

If any of you have ever tried to curb or cut out something from your vocabulary, you know just how hard that is. But she did awesome all weekend! I don’t think I could do that. So, even though my MIL claims she isn’t a loving person, I can tell just by all the effort she puts in to change her way of speaking around the babies that she IS a loving person.

I am so grateful. 🙂

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Whew. That’s quite a convoluted title. I am referring to being an MIL (in case that wasn’t immediately obvious). It’s certainly daunting to think that one day, I may be the object of frustration and hate to someone my children will be bound to for life. Terrifying, actually.

I think that every time I complain about my MIL (she was here for all of five minutes yesterday and I already wanted to scream), I should keep in mind of all the aspects of her that I appreciate. After all, though I love my own mother dearly, I would never want her for a MIL. She’s a little TOO opinionated for my taste. And you know she’d totally be judging me!! For that matter, I would hate to have myself for a MIL. I’m a completely petty, critical, grudge-holding person! I’d be constantly terrified of pissing me off!

Anyhow, here are some good points in favor of MIL (because right now, I need to be grateful to her – if only for raising my dear, sweet husband). I will resist the overwhelming urge to list all her detrimental qualities. (Oh, how I resist!! I even want to slip in a snide remark in the parentheses! After all, every one knows those comments don’t count.)

Ok, here are some good things about my MIL:

  1. She is the glue of DH’s family. Without her, DH wouldn’t know anything about his siblings (I don’t even think he has their contact info).
  2. She cares for animals and loves them. If I were to ever be reincarnated, I would want to be a cat in her household. (Or really, any pet in her household.) She leaves out all sorts of food, random heating pads in case the kitties get cold, litter boxes in practically every room, and all the hugs and kisses a kitty would want.
  3. She loves DS. Now granted, perhaps it’s not the way I would personally show love or go about it, but I’m not her. She is. And she loves DS.
  4. She is generous. Every time she comes to visit, she brings all sorts of goodies and snacks and tasty treats. She wants to treat us (and we don’t want to let her because she does have a limited income) and always brings gifts for DS.
  5. She compliments my abilities (deservedly or not) in the kitchen, raising DS, and physical appearances. I wish it weren’t at the expense of her own abilities, but I am trying to be more gracious in receiving her thanks. (Versus my instinct of arguing with her that she’s not as bad as she claims.)
  6. She has made a great effort to go out of her comfort zone by coming to visit us. She hates to go out in public, hates to travel, hates to fly, hates to leave her animals, but she does this to see DS.
  7. She is very open about her life and her experiences and trusts me to take care of her financially. She includes me into the family (good or bad) and considers me part of the family.
  8. She still visits my FIL’s grave on a weekly basis and takes care of the site, bringing gifts and things that he loved. That is sweet and lovely to me.
  9. She is absolutely awesome at using coupons, often getting goods for almost free or at extremely discounted rates. (All without once using Costco!) She is great at finding good deals.
  10. She is kind to this schizophrenic man who is a tenant in her back house. This man is the ex of my SIL and his own parents abandoned him to go back to Japan after they found out he was mentally ill. She’s taken in his two dogs and let him live in the back house at a very reduced rent and makes sure he has food and is okay. I would never be able to do that.

Anyhow, this would be a good reminder if I find myself wanting to throttle her the rest of this visit. (Which will at least be daily, right? Let’s be real.)