Geez! I can’t believe it’s been about three months since I last posted. Well, I can believe it, but I don’t WANT to believe it.

Several quick news updates then:

1) My nephew was born at the end of January!! YAAAAAY!! Welcome to the world, DN!!

2) I’m pregnant for the third time. Due mid/end of August 2013. 🙂 On schedule for four kids by 2015. LOL.

3) DS has started preschool and the first month, he cried every day I dropped him off. But now, he wants to go early and just LOVES everything about school. (Especially crafts.) He is inordinately proud of himself and his creations. Our walls are covered in his masterpieces. (Saves me the trouble of finding “artwork.”)

4) DD is talking up a storm and absolutely a tyrant and utterly hilarious. She wants to do everything Big Brother does and it is both sweet and alarming.

5) DH’s maternal grandmother passed away on our 6th anniversary. DH had a chance to say goodbye by flying out to Honolulu the week before she passed. He’s flying out again this weekend for the funeral.

6) For Spring Break, we are heading to our annual LA/SD trip to visit family and friends. Can’t wait! (Well, mostly I am excited about the SD portion. heehee.)

7) Then, we’re also going to be flying out to DC for a few days to see my awesome DN before he gets too big! We gotta cram in as much traveling as possible before I get too huge to travel with two small children.

8) However, even though I will be nine months pregnant, that will NOT stop me from participating in the awesomeness known as JT!! We have fantastic tickets to their stadium tour at Candlestick Park. SO EXCITED. Words cannot even adequately describe it.

9) After three months of utter exhaustion and sleeping 10+ hours, I am now suffering from insomnia. I guess I banked all that sleep a little too early, eh? Now, I just stay up in the middle night worrying about taxes, craigslist, and re-decorating/cleaning the house for the new baby. Yup. Nesting is kicking my ass again. Again, with the earliness of this!!

10) I am super bored with TV now. Most of my shows are on hiatus (USA – WHY!?) and I am too lazy to get into new shows. At least JT has flooded my DVR lately, so I am happy.

OK. That’s all for now. Hopefully, I can/will more consistently update this blog. Thanks for sticking with me, peeps!!


Welp, the actual plane trip went much better than I could have hoped. They were both on mostly excellent behavior until the very end of the first 12.5 hour flight. After only 4.5 hours of sleep on the plane though, who can blame them? Thanks to my mom’s awesome friend who is a travel agent, she got us bulkhead seats and I was even able to put DD in a bassinet for a few hours. We had like 3 feet of leg room. Seriously awesome.

Thankfully, at the airport in Taipei, they had a nice sized indoor playground. They also had one huge train to look at but I didn’t know about it until later. DS and DD had a great time. On the 45 minute flight to Kaohsiung, they both passed out from sheer exhaustion the last 15 minutes or so. Of course, that was enough to wire them for the next 7 hours.

We went first to my First Aunt’s (my mom’s oldest sister) house with my cousins and waited there for another cousin to arrive. Then we went to my grandparents’ house. Craziness. The outside of the house had two big tents full of funeral flowers and wreaths. Inside the first floor of the house was an altar and my grandmother’s picture up next to Buddha. We had to bow and worship (my brother and I didn’t use incense so we were just showing respect) to my grandmother’s image. Then we went upstairs to see my grandfather.

They didn’t allow the babies in the house. The family because it was custom and wanted to protect my babies from death and evil spirits. My mom because the family worships ancestors and Buddha which are false idols. So they hire nuns and monks to continually read from Buddhist scriptures to hopefully help send my grandmother on to heaven and protect her from evil spirits. Terribly confusing and I had to have my mother explain everything to me.

My brother and I have never seen so many relatives from my mom’s house. My grandmother was eldest of five and my grandfather was eldest of six. It was a briefly disconcerting moment when I met a woman who looked just like my grandmother and they told me it was her younger sister. Paid our brief respects to my grandfather who had to be told who we were. He thanked us for coming. He was sweet but had a cold. (Apparently, he caught a cold, gave it to my grandmother, it worsened into pneumonia, and she passed away peacefully in her sleep at the hospital. It was unexpected.) He was unshaven and in his pajamas. My mom told me that was a way to symbolize grief in their custom.

My grandparents were a love match. They had fallen in love on first sight (very different for those times!) My grandmother was very outgoing and talkative and was working because she had to care for her siblings. My grandfather was more on the quiet side but he also worked to care for his siblings and family. Together, they built our family’s steel factory and have given money to take care of all their siblings, their siblings’ children, and their siblings’ grandchildren. For some of their siblings, they feel as if my grandparents didn’t give them enough. I find that astounding.

They collapsed around 330pm and I let them sleep a long time against my better judgment. I tried to wake DS up, but he was pretty much unconscious and I changed him and let him sleep. DD woke up so I fed her, my mom gave her a bath, and then I nursed her back to sleep.

My mom went to her room to sleep because they have to be up at 530 for the funeral service, then a 4 hour round trip bus ride to my grandmother’s hometown temple in the mountains for a super long service. The kids and I aren’t going because they don’t allow or advise bringing children. I am not complaining!

I did get to nap for about 2 hours then I woke up because I thought we were going to dinner. My mom and I debated for awhile and then she went out to get food. Of course, I didn’t get a chance to sleep until 11pm and then DS woke up all bright-eyed and bushytailed at 1am local time. That’s because it was 8am in California! Then he woke up DD.

I fed him, gave him a bath, and he played with trains. Twice he woke up DD right when she was about to fall asleep. Finally, I broke down and had him watch Thomas the train videos on YouTube. I am currently trying to get him back to bed because he is yawning and still short a good 6 hours of sleep. Wish me luck!

Sorry for not blogging yesterday. I’ll be out of town for the next week or so to attend the funeral of my maternal grandmother. I must be crazy because I am taking DS and DD without DH. At least my brother will be on the flight there with me (good practice for him, LOL) and my mom will be on the flight back. Did I mention that it’s 12.5 hours to Taipei plus a layover and then another 2 hour flight to Kaohsiung? On the way back, it’s another 2 hours. At least we’ll get to take the high speed rail so DS will see a train. 😀

Of course, my passport had expired and I had put off getting DD’s passport so I paid through the nose to get them rushed and done by a company (so I wouldn’t have to haul everybody all over San Francisco to get it done by myself). Plus that and the tickets (last minute, natch) and hotel, etc. Whew. I am very grateful that we have enough savings/income that although this does hurt (because it is NOT cheap), it doesn’t wipe out our savings or make even that much of a dent. We have so much and I am grateful that we have it because otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to go.

Speaking of which, what’s with my crazy family trying to do all they can to dissuade me from attending? I realize that they say they’re just thinking of me and the kids, but geez! It’s making me feel very unwanted and in the way! I’m pretty sure I knew that it would be sucky when I said I’d go, didn’t I? I have been a mom for a few years, yes?

Ok. Back to packing.

My maternal grandmother just passed away today. It was unexpected and my mom is now very sad because she didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I have only met her a few times, but in her old school Chinese way, I know she loved me. I am sad both for my mom and for myself because my kids never got to meet her.

I must say, I will no longer call my trips to LA vacation. In fact, we’ll just call them family trips, because it was a trip and it was with family to visit family. The only relaxing part was when we showed up at my friend, CB’s place in San Diego. That was awesome. I didn’t have to think about what to feed my family for four days. CB took care of everything. She held DD; her boys entertained DS. She planned fun and engaging activities. It was awesome.

In LA, we mostly just saw DH’s family and some old friends. It was fun, but really stressful since the kids were getting used to sleeping in the same room. Plus, DD really didn’t get good naps in until maybe the third day. Poor thing was exhausted. DS was too excited to sleep on the way down and he kept asking to go home. (In between asking for Gran Gran.)

The drive home was rough. From SD to LA was fantastic. DD was asleep before we pulled away from CB’s house. DS fell asleep shortly after. Then when we got to LA, the last 2 miles to DH’s mom’s house was brutal traffic. I hate LA. (I never thought I would say those words.)

Of course, because DH’s mom is not normal and is a hoarder, we couldn’t stop at her house. Both kids weren’t having the car anymore and DD pooped. We tried to go to a park but there was no parking and they were filming something so we ended up in a Ralph’s parking lot. DS just ran up and down the aisles.

Of course, my MIL was no help. DH was so pissed at her because she would just stand as DS disappeared. DH was on the phone trying to take care of a tax thing for her and I was carrying DD. It was madness. We had to go to the bathroom at the grocery store because her house was too fucking disgusting.

We dropped her back home because seriously, what was there to do? The last thing any of us wanted was to force the kids to sit still again in a restaurant. DD was crying again so we stopped at a parking lot to feed. DS just ran around and screamed.

Then we started off. As soon as we put DD back in her seat, she started to cry. This would become a pattern. She finally fell asleep but then DS had to poo.

We stopped, changed DS and grab some fast food. We head off and DD was pissed. She was so happy to be out. Ten minutes later, DS had to poo again. We took a break and fed DD and DS stared at my phone because I had to bribe him to get back into his seat. DD was weeping as soon as I put her down. I started to cry.

This is where it gets awesome. Fifteen minutes later, DS demands to get out of his seat. Of course we can’t so I give him the iPad telling him there are no videos/YouTube on there. Desperately playing with the iPad hoping for videos, DS finally pushes it away.

He starts to cry and demand to get out. I didn’t want him to wake up DD so I give him my phone for half an hour. After that, he gives it back and begins to beg to get out. It is 830. We have another 3.5 hrs to go.

Then he says he pooped. By now, he has pooped twice and I think he will say anything to get out. DD was asleep and I didn’t want to stop the car, have her wake up and cry again.

DS proceeds to scream for the next hour as if I am killing him. “Open! No more bye bye! Up! Mommy!” DD also screams hoarsely, for about half an hour. She finally falls back asleep and DS screams on. He finally falls asleep.

Around 1030, with about an hour to go, DH goes over a bumpy stretch of road and DS wakes up screaming for another half hour or so. DD of course wakes up, too.

Finally they fall asleep again about 15 minutes from the house and we make it home. Thank God.

Of course, DS’s diaper was full of orange poo. I forgot he drank so much good juice after a week of bad food that the kid had been sitting in poop for three hours. No wonder he was pissed. Poor guy.

He refused to sleep in his room so DH slept with him and he’s out around 1am. DD is out, too. Promptly at 7am, DS pops up and is up for the day. Of course he wakes DD.

I am still traumatized. We are never leaving the house again. (Except, of course, when we leave for Hawaii at the end of June. I am completely dreading this.)

So, in a nutshell: LA OK. SD Awesome. Driving SUCKED.

Just because I have told my father that he is dead to me doesn’t mean that I don’t still hear about him from the rest of my family. And lately, there have been several doosies.

A few weeks ago, my dad phone ambushes my brother in DC and guilts him into meeting with my dad for dinner. Throughout the awkward conversation, my dad tears up and looks sad. What a phoney. And even if he is sad at the consequences, he sure hasn’t done anything to change it. I suppose he is allowed to be sad (if it is even true). But whatever. He made his choices.

Today, my uncle called my mom to tell her that daddy bought a half million dollar house in Houston back in October 2010. TWO THOUSAND TEN. 2011. He also took his mistress with him. He told his relatives in China that he is already divorced and that the mistress is his wife. My fucking shriveled up bitch of a grandmother knew all of this and has been lying to my uncle and my mother this WHOLE TIME.

My dad has also linked up with a lawyer to lure Chinese people over to get a US citizenship via investments or another way. That was why he was in my brother’s city a few weeks ago. He has even more plans to bring that woman and their bastard son over soon.

I told my mother I was going to call up my grandmother and tell her in person that she was dead to me. My mom told me not to get involved with that negative stuff. I told her (in anger) that I was going to curse my father every day. She told me not to do that. That it would poison me and that I would have to protect my kids from his sin and all that evil and I shouldn’t do it. I told her that cursing people is Biblical and I planned on doing it every day. Of course, I wouldn’t do that. Not because I am a good person. No, it’s because I can’t even remember to brush my fucking teeth every day – I’m not going to remember and waste my time on my fucking no good dad.

My mom told me a week or so ago that she found out the mistress is from a part of China that is renowned for their witchcraft. My mom is convinced this woman is trying to curse her because she’s had so many horrible dreams lately. For what it’s worth, part of me believes this, and the other thinks it’s insane.

However, the last two times I took my kids to church, the first night, DS had nightmares. The second time, he woke up at 3am barfing for an hour and a half. No other sick symptoms. He was totally fine the next day. Both days after I took my kids to church, DD would cry uncontrollably. (I know, she is just a baby.) When DS was just born and my dad saw him and held him, DS made such a weird cry/noise (scared the shit out of my mom and I because it sounded so strangled and strange) that I am convinced my dad passed on some evil spirit to my son. (Particularly since after that, DS started to have nightmares.)

I have since made my mom do all sorts of things like pray for him and anoint his room, his bed, etc. I know it sounds crazy. It could all be coincidence. Which, the more rational part of my mind agrees with. But I also believe there are things that cannot be explained and are not of flesh and blood and are spiritual powers and principalities. I do believe that people can be cursed and that prayer is powerful.

I also, alternately, think I’ve gone batshit crazy and am using prayer and anointings and etc as totems and superstitions. I don’t think about it too often, but it does bother me in the middle of the night occasionally – especially when I am SO ANGRY at my dad.

Part of me wants to come up with a new name by which I can refer him. Dad or daddy seem too personal and intimately connected for someone’s whose face I want to bash in repeatedly. I can’t think of one right now. All I can think of is how badly I want to call him just so I can tell him to fuck off and die.

Pardon the rantiness. I am a little upset.

1) Had a good time visiting with my uncle and cousins. Even managed to set aside my feud and allowed my grandmother to see DS. I figured, she’s old. She may never see DS again.

They might even come back and visit to see DD on Wednesday. 🙂

2) Had a fun play date today. Last one before DD shows up tomorrow!