For some reason I can’t recall right now, the biggest insult my kids can say is, “You are!”

It’s pretty awesome!

Tonight, DD said she’s a princess. No idea how. We don’t even call her a princess! Lol. We do overdo it on the pretty though.

Then she saw her new cupcake PJs and said, “DD pretty!”

After her bath, DD said, “Goodbye water! See you next time!”

Then, she sang and danced around in her towel. I think my brain just exploded from cutesy overload.

DS just told me his “屁股 (butt) isn’t growing. It is still small.” Hahahahhaahahah

Before I forget, some stories about the kiddos.

1) When DD leaves my room she says, “Bye bye! See you later! Moua!”

2) DH was reading Where the Wild Things Are to the kids and calls the monsters lions. DS tell him, “those are guai sho!” Love how DS is teaching DH Chinese. Haha.

3) DD kept kicking DS at bedtime. After her time out and I put her back in bed, DS put Appa (a big stuffed animal) in between them so she couldn’t kick him anymore.

4) DS can pick out and put on his clothes all by himself! What a big boy!!

5) DH is so mean to DS. Both of them have been able to strap into their car seats by themselves for awhile now. So DH just noticed and said either DD is turning 4 or DS is turning 2. Lol. So mean!

6) I keep wanting to call the baby, DS because he makes the same poo face, the same expressions, and has the same face!! So cute and so confusing!

7) Also, DS tried to give DS2 some cars for him to play with. DD tried to give DS2 a peacock to play with. They are so sweet.

8) DS2 could push up and turn his head the first night.

9) I put a hairclip in DD’s hair and she said, “漂亮! (Pretty!)” So cute! So vain! Haha. But what else is she supposed to think when we call her pretty girl nonstop?

10) DD was mad that I was leaving their room. I said, “I love you!” And she said, “No love you!” Lol.

11) DS asked me to make him a new track. But he wanted to watch the iPad. So he told me I could do it all by myself.

12) DH took the kids to the park and DD said, “Watch out! DD fast!”

13) DS doesn’t know how to say “road” in English so he keeps saying things like, “I have to put the car back on the 馬路 (road)!” I don’t know why I find it so funny.

14) I was making 7 burritos for DH’s lunches. DS was upset because he didn’t want DH to eat so many. Said his tummy would hurt.

15) DS and DD were each arguing that they are funny. “I funny!” “No, I funny!” When I said they were both funny, they both laughed their fake laugh.

16) DS keeps singing 哈哈笑, 火車快飛, and 小猴子. I think he misses school.

17) The kids have started to answer, “Maybe.” when we ask them questions. I don’t think they know what it means. But it sure amuses me.

18) I love the way DD says, “Yeah!”

19) The other day, DS2 simultaneously spat up and pooped while on the boob. Poor DS2 seemed very startled.

20) DD put herself to sleep (during nap time) watching iphone with DS. Best mom ever.

21) After a month of of school, we dropped DS off on Tuesday. DD stared crying because she missed DS. She said she wanted to go to school, too.

22) When I tell DD, “no” she will start to growl.

23) I love how DS will hide his cars and then forget and asks me to find them. :/ I tell him that it’s his problem but somehow, I still end up looking for them. Tricky little bastard.

24) DS saw a picture of Barbie and he said, “That’s a princess.” How the fuck does he even know that word? And to apply to Barbie?!

25) When DS2 was born, DS and DD only wanted oatmeal and milk. I think that’s all they ate for at least a week. Other than snacks, of course. Weird.

26) The kids like to use my bras to swallow up their cars and trucks.

27) When DS2 was just born and pooped muconium, DS was obsessed with the black poo. He still asks about it.

28) One day, DS lifted DH’s wallet out of his pocket. Awesome.

29) Took the kids to see Planes (their first movie). They had a great time. My friend told us to sit in an aisle. We sat in the front of the second section so the kids could get up and walk. I think this will be the last movie for awhile because their attention just can’t hold that long. Thank goodness for the tub of popcorn. Which we followed with Coldstone’s ice cream.

30) DS really loves DS2 and is always wanting to hug, hold, and kiss him. DD is mildly interested in DS2, but mostly ignores him. She finally realized the other day that DS2 was here to stay and threw a big tantrum. Poor little darling.

Ok. That should be enough updates for now, right?

DH finally figured out why DS thinks Papa has a vagina and a penis. He thinks the pubic hair is the vagina. He also pointed at DH’s face and said, “Gina face! Gina mouth!” OMG. Can’t stop laughing.

Then, because we couldn’t stop laughing, DS decided to attach “Gina” before everything. “Gina peacock!” “Gina teddy bear!” We had to tell him that wasn’t something he could do.

What’s even funnier is that when DH lets his goatee run wild and hasn’t shaved in awhile, I complain to him and tell him to go shave his “vadge face.” Clearly, the thought runs in the family.

But at least one great mystery has been solved.

*sigh* I’m so sorry, little blog. I do not mean to ignore you. (Actually, I just skipped one day. Sorry!!!) To make up for it, I bring stories of kiddos.

1) This morning, DS and DD opened up the door to the garage, opened up the garage door, and ran down the driveway while I was in the bathroom. WTF.

2) I think DD likes coloring with markers just so she gets her hands dirty (she sticks her fingers in the caps). That way, she can wash them. She loves to wash her hands.

3) DD clocked me in the head this morning because she didn’t get what she wanted. This girl!!

4) I was discussing with some of my friends what type of business we should start together (FWIW, I think it’s a terrible idea), they said we should start a kids’ consignment store. But I negated that saying we’d have to have inventory and a place to rent. I said I should just be a surrogate and get paid $40k per baby. DH said he would punch me nonstop in the face if I did that. So I guess he prefers the consignment store idea. LOL.

5) I swear the kids are masterminding some type of thing against me. They keep setting me up with mutually exclusive requests demands. If DS wants to go right, DD wants to go left. If DS wants to watch a show, DD immediately says she doesn’t want that show. It’s driving me up the wall. I just end up ignoring them both while they scream their brains out simultaneously.

6) Yesterday morning, both kids were screaming and crying. DS wanted almonds (which we didn’t have – because you bet your ass if I did, I would’ve been shoving them in his pie hole just so he would STFU). DD wanted to eat a chocolate bunny – which I didn’t let her have. Then, they switched to crying because DD was so mad at me she punched DS in the head. (See a recurring pattern here?)

7) I asked DD for a 梳子 (shu zi or comb) and she came back with a 書 (shu or book). Chinese homonyms are awesome!

8) DS and DD were arguing the other day over whether or not DD was funny. DD says, “I funny!” DS replies, “Not funny!” Granted, at the time, she was insisting she was funny because she ruined and destroyed something he made. LOL. Totally understandable.

9) In related news, DD now thinks that she can get away with whatever she does as long as she smiles and says, “I funny!”

10) DS gets very involved while watching movies. He’s an extrovert for sure! And he’s a lot like my mother. “What’s happening? Why is he doing that? What is he doing? Where is he going? etc.” On Saturday, he was watching Ice Age for the first time and I guess there’s a part where a woman jumps off a cliff and he SCREAMED. Not just any scream, a full on blood-curdling scream. Because he was so worried. It was sweet. I think I have to really screen his movies.

11) Once, while DH was changing DD’s poopy diaper, DS asked, “Why does DD’s pigu (butt) change colors from black to red?”

12) On Friday, I overheard DH pleading with the kids, “Please, can you both be normal?” They were both crying because they wanted the same fork. There was nothing they could use the fork on at the time.

13) DD likes to wear my bras.

14) One time when DD was asleep, she started shaking her head, “No” very vigorously. I laughed because she is also contrary – even in her dreams!

15) DS climbed a rope ladder at the park and said he was Spiderman. He doesn’t really know who Spiderman is. He also talks about pirates a lot. But again, he doesn’t really know what a pirate is. Case in point, a few weeks ago, he called a hair clip a pirate that was coming to eat me.

16) DD mixes up her English and Chinese words all the time in an awesome Chinglish concoction. Instead of “不可以” DD says, “No可以.” (Which is No, you can’t.)

Ok, hopefully that satisfies you for now. I will now get to writing tomorrow’s post. 😉

Here are some more stories of the kiddies.

1) DS has been saying that he has a baby in his tummy, just like DH and DD do, too. Like Mommy. Because Mommy has to share!

2) DD likes to jump up and fall down (she can’t really jump yet, but she’ll bounce on the bed and then flop on her pillow) while saying, “Ribbit! Ribbit!” In fact, both the kids like to pretend they are frogs and jump up and down and yell, “Ribbit! Ribbit!”

3) DD thinks it’s hilarious to say she pooped when she really peed, and vice versa. When we are changing her diaper, we’ll say, “Did you peepee?” And DD will respond, “No, poopoo!” Or the opposite for the other scenario. It is hilarious.

4) DD and DS like to purposely make me choose between two things that are mutually exclusive. If DS wants to watch one show, DD demands another. If DD wants to go upstairs, DS demands to stay downstairs. I think they do it on purpose – to see who is the more alpha among them. That way, I have to choose – and whoever I choose wins. Or something. They are devious little children.

5) Currently, they are both obsessed with seeing pictures and videos of DS as a baby. I don’t know why.

6) Sometimes, when DD is crying or upset, DS will comfort her and hug her and tell her, “It’s OK, DD.” And go on to explain that Mommy will be back soon or that she needs to go to sleep. It’s super sweet. I love how they cozy in bed together, too.

7) It really makes me happy to see my two kids interact. They often play very well together and have very detailed conversations that I can only half follow.