*sigh* I’m so sorry, little blog. I do not mean to ignore you. (Actually, I just skipped one day. Sorry!!!) To make up for it, I bring stories of kiddos.

1) This morning, DS and DD opened up the door to the garage, opened up the garage door, and ran down the driveway while I was in the bathroom. WTF.

2) I think DD likes coloring with markers just so she gets her hands dirty (she sticks her fingers in the caps). That way, she can wash them. She loves to wash her hands.

3) DD clocked me in the head this morning because she didn’t get what she wanted. This girl!!

4) I was discussing with some of my friends what type of business we should start together (FWIW, I think it’s a terrible idea), they said we should start a kids’ consignment store. But I negated that saying we’d have to have inventory and a place to rent. I said I should just be a surrogate and get paid $40k per baby. DH said he would punch me nonstop in the face if I did that. So I guess he prefers the consignment store idea. LOL.

5) I swear the kids are masterminding some type of thing against me. They keep setting me up with mutually exclusive requests demands. If DS wants to go right, DD wants to go left. If DS wants to watch a show, DD immediately says she doesn’t want that show. It’s driving me up the wall. I just end up ignoring them both while they scream their brains out simultaneously.

6) Yesterday morning, both kids were screaming and crying. DS wanted almonds (which we didn’t have – because you bet your ass if I did, I would’ve been shoving them in his pie hole just so he would STFU). DD wanted to eat a chocolate bunny – which I didn’t let her have. Then, they switched to crying because DD was so mad at me she punched DS in the head. (See a recurring pattern here?)

7) I asked DD for a 梳子 (shu zi or comb) and she came back with a 書 (shu or book). Chinese homonyms are awesome!

8) DS and DD were arguing the other day over whether or not DD was funny. DD says, “I funny!” DS replies, “Not funny!” Granted, at the time, she was insisting she was funny because she ruined and destroyed something he made. LOL. Totally understandable.

9) In related news, DD now thinks that she can get away with whatever she does as long as she smiles and says, “I funny!”

10) DS gets very involved while watching movies. He’s an extrovert for sure! And he’s a lot like my mother. “What’s happening? Why is he doing that? What is he doing? Where is he going? etc.” On Saturday, he was watching Ice Age for the first time and I guess there’s a part where a woman jumps off a cliff and he SCREAMED. Not just any scream, a full on blood-curdling scream. Because he was so worried. It was sweet. I think I have to really screen his movies.

11) Once, while DH was changing DD’s poopy diaper, DS asked, “Why does DD’s pigu (butt) change colors from black to red?”

12) On Friday, I overheard DH pleading with the kids, “Please, can you both be normal?” They were both crying because they wanted the same fork. There was nothing they could use the fork on at the time.

13) DD likes to wear my bras.

14) One time when DD was asleep, she started shaking her head, “No” very vigorously. I laughed because she is also contrary – even in her dreams!

15) DS climbed a rope ladder at the park and said he was Spiderman. He doesn’t really know who Spiderman is. He also talks about pirates a lot. But again, he doesn’t really know what a pirate is. Case in point, a few weeks ago, he called a hair clip a pirate that was coming to eat me.

16) DD mixes up her English and Chinese words all the time in an awesome Chinglish concoction. Instead of “不可以” DD says, “No可以.” (Which is No, you can’t.)

Ok, hopefully that satisfies you for now. I will now get to writing tomorrow’s post. 😉


Here are some more stories of the kiddies.

1) DS has been saying that he has a baby in his tummy, just like DH and DD do, too. Like Mommy. Because Mommy has to share!

2) DD likes to jump up and fall down (she can’t really jump yet, but she’ll bounce on the bed and then flop on her pillow) while saying, “Ribbit! Ribbit!” In fact, both the kids like to pretend they are frogs and jump up and down and yell, “Ribbit! Ribbit!”

3) DD thinks it’s hilarious to say she pooped when she really peed, and vice versa. When we are changing her diaper, we’ll say, “Did you peepee?” And DD will respond, “No, poopoo!” Or the opposite for the other scenario. It is hilarious.

4) DD and DS like to purposely make me choose between two things that are mutually exclusive. If DS wants to watch one show, DD demands another. If DD wants to go upstairs, DS demands to stay downstairs. I think they do it on purpose – to see who is the more alpha among them. That way, I have to choose – and whoever I choose wins. Or something. They are devious little children.

5) Currently, they are both obsessed with seeing pictures and videos of DS as a baby. I don’t know why.

6) Sometimes, when DD is crying or upset, DS will comfort her and hug her and tell her, “It’s OK, DD.” And go on to explain that Mommy will be back soon or that she needs to go to sleep. It’s super sweet. I love how they cozy in bed together, too.

7) It really makes me happy to see my two kids interact. They often play very well together and have very detailed conversations that I can only half follow.

1) It’s always fun to hear DS or DD tell the other almost word for word what I lecture them on a daily basis. A few days ago, DS gave DD something and then proceeded to say, “Say ‘Thank you, 哥哥 (big brother)!'”

2) When I tell DD to clean up, she waits and stalls until DS gets impatient and does it for her. LOL. She thinks she’s so smart. Poor DS. Already doing his sister’s bidding. Unfortunately, I still make her clean up stuff and when she refuses, she gets put in time out.

3) DS took out his balance bike the other evening and his friend, V, told him that she had one in her garage, too. Then she asked DS if she could ride his bike. He said, “No. You go home and ride YOUR bike, ok?”

4) I gave DD a cookie and she said, “兩個 (two)!” I’m just impressed she knew the difference between 1 and 2. LOL.

Gah. Seems like every time I leave, I get used to not posting and then Poof! A month or more goes by and I haven’t updated.

So, here are some funny stories about the kiddos in the last few weeks:

1) We were at a park one day and some boys a little older than DS were playing with each other and DS happened to be near them. They were saying, “Come on!” to each other and DS thought they were talking to him so he followed them around for at least 10 minutes. They were good sports and all had a good time chasing each other and running around.

2) Unfortunately, we had a bad experience with the landlady at the house we were staying at and I started using her as a threat to keep the kids quiet. I didn’t realize how often I was doing that until DD was being noisy and DS told her that the person upstairs was going to come down and that we didn’t want that.

3) For awhile, DS kept either saying, “What’s going on here?” or “Something [sic] going on here!” in a Grover voice (his serious voice). So funny. He often talks in his Grover voice when he is being very serious.

4) DH put DS in shorts on one of the first few hot days of the year and DS said, “I’ll be cold.” DH asked, “Do you want me to get pants for you?” DS said, “That would be better.”

5) It was super hot one day and DS was in shorts and DD was just in a dress. DS was very worried that DD was not wearing pants.

6) While peeing one day, DS told me (in Chinglish) that his pee comes out from a 洞洞 (hole) in his penis.

7) While I was folding laundry one day, DD picked up my giant underwear and walked around with it over her head, around her neck. I was both amused and mortified.

8) One night, I was trying to get the kids to sleep. I was so annoyed that I yelled at DD, “Go to sleep!” She sat up and yelled back, “NO!”

9) After bath time one day, I asked DS if DD had a penis. He said, “No. 她有屁股 (She has a butt)!”

10) Then, I tried to teach him how to say, “Vagina.” Now, he says DD has a “Gagina.”

11) While grocery shopping, DD kept standing up in the cart. I lightly smacked her on the back of her hand and then she hit me back. Twice. HARD!

12) Sometimes, DD will hit DS on the head and then say, “Ouch!” and hold out her hand for me to kiss.

13) Now, when I tell DS to do something, he’ll reply, “I know, Mommy! I know!”

14) DD has started telling me when she’s pooped or peed or farted. She calls them all poo. LOL. I am semi-starting to potty train her in a half-assed manner.

15) When I finally switched DS’s car seat to forward facing (he is too close to the weight limit for rear-facing), he was very upset because he still wanted to face backwards. DD was upset because she wanted to be facing forward like DS. DS is the ONLY kid I know who was upset about turning the car seat around.

16) Because DD cosleeps with us, she often hogs my pillow. Often, if I am taking up too much space on my own damn pillow, she will yell at me, “Move!”

17) Somehow, between the last cold and now, DS has stopped liking to take medicine. BLARGH.

18) The other day, DD ordered me to do the following: “Chip. Now. Me.” I didn’t even know she could say, “Now,” let alone know what it means.

19) Yesterday morning, DD started crying because she wanted to wear a different dress. I don’t even think she cared what dress it was that she was wearing because she literally just chose the next top dress in the dresser. She just didn’t want to wear anything I chose.

20) I was just putting down DD for a nap and she started to fake snore.

Ok. That should last a bit, right? You don’t expect me to post again?

So, I totally forgot to tell you all about our awesome and super successful Easter Egg Hunt!! We had approximately 50 people (including kids) show up and about 600 eggs. We had so many eggs that the kids got bored and tired of picking them up and decided to sit down and open them instead. LOL. We had a ton of food and great weather and it was just so much fun. I think I am definitely going to throw one yearly.

Seriously, I was super proud of myself. I think it may have been the best event I’ve ever hosted. 🙂 A great, lovely time was had by all. DS was ecstatic that so many of his friends were there and they went crazy for the bubble machine (yes, I have one) and the play ground and of course, the eggs. DD was bored of the egg hunt (she was like, “Didn’t we already do this?”) and ate crackers instead. She has her priorities straight. The kids played T-ball, we barely had to watch our children because there were so many parents and kids – plus they were all MY friends!!

*sigh* If only every thing I did would go off that well. heehee!

My kids are such characters, bursting with personality. Here are some funny stories about them.

1) DS had just finished pooping and I was wiping his butt. I had left the wipes open and DD got one out and began to help wipe DS’s butt.

2) During snack time at preschool, the teacher asked everybody what was their favorite thing to do. Some kids said drawing or playing with cars, etc. DS said, “我最喜歡吃東西!” (My favorite thing to do is eat stuff!)

3) DD loves to wash her butt. She will get on all fours in the tub and then back her butt into the water running from the faucet. Over and over again. She will even re-position herself! One time, she cleared out all the bath toys just so she would have room to wash her butt. DH filmed it and it’s the funniest thing.

4) DS made DD cry and I told him to say sorry to her. As soon as DD heard me tell him to say sorry, she moved in for a hug. He hugged her and said, “Hi!” She said, “Hi” back and waved so DS waved back. So cute!

5) DD now sings and dances along with our Mommy and Me music class. It’s adorable!! Clearly, a musical genius. 😉

6) DS accidentally drank some of my warm/hot water and spat it out. The look on his face was one of betrayal. He said, “That water is no good.” I couldn’t stop laughing.

That’s all I can think of for now. I will try to remember more. 🙂

Since we had a DS update, it’s only fair we have one for DD. And boy, do we!!

1) DD now throws some serious tantrums. Can she SCREAM!! Don’t think that just because she’s little and cute and sweet and a girl that Baby Girl doesn’t know how to throw down! She does. It’s at turns hilarious and disturbing. She now does this thing where when she’s mad, she lays on the ground and either arches her back and rolls around or she starts burrowing (it’s kinda like her head is on the ground, her back arched in the air, her tummy facing the ground, and then she burrows). It’s virtually impossible to change her diaper.

The other day, I was doing something during a screaming fit and when I turned around, I couldn’t find her. All I saw were two little feet poking out from under my bed. I would’ve stopped to take a picture but I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to get her out if I took the time to get my phone. HILARIOUS.

2) DD is super aggressive. I know I’ve covered this before, but geez. This girl climbs on monkey bar arches (I don’t know what to call those things. Those arches at parks that are made of monkey bars.) Even DS gets stuck and has to climb back down. She is clearly too small for the things but she doesn’t let a little thing like SIZE stop her.

Other things she likes to climb: slides (from the bottom of the slide to the top), chairs, stairs, steps, ladders, cars, tables, EVERYTHING.

3) Often, when I put DS in a time out, DD will join him. She hurries to be by his side and squeezes herself next to him and smiles. It’s adorable.

4) DD now shakes her head when she doesn’t want something. She tilts her head and it’s so cute, then she vigorously shakes, “No.” It’s only hilarious because it’s not also accompanied by her actually saying, “No.”

5) DD never met a snack she didn’t like. She will go to my diaper bag and root for snacks.

6) DD now points to things and says, “That? That?” She can also say: Cars, Moss (comes out Mah), Gogo (for dog – well, she calls any animal, “dog”), and “Dah-gee” for water and an assortment of other things. If you get it wrong, she shakes her head. heehee.

7) She climbed into the open dryer the other day when I was doing laundry. We’ll be closing that door from now on.

8) When DD feels like she’s been wronged or hasn’t received justice, she’ll mutter, “Meimei, meimei, meimei” all sad and angry. (Meimei is what we call her since it means “Little Sister.”)

9) She can identify her feet (she’ll lift them up when I ask for her feet) and her hands (same thing). She’ll even pat her tummy when I ask her, “Where’s Meimei?”

10) DD is very sly. She’ll smile at me when I tell her not to do something, then pause, look at me, smile some more, and then go about doing what I just told her not to. It’s a good thing she’s super cute.

11) Boys can’t help but love her. So many of DS’s friends hug, kiss, pet and want to keep her. I understand.

12) She’s just so independent. Part of me feels bad that I’m not as there for her as I was for DS, but part of me is glad that she and her brother entertain each other. 😀

She is such a sweetheart. I love her madly and to pieces. LOVE HER!