2012 ended with a bit of a scare – but ultimately, everything ended up ok and with a great party.

When we flew back from the DC trip, DD slept the whole flight back. DS was pretty good, but you know that kid who screams bloody murder because he refuses to get back in the fucking seat during landing and screams, “No thank you! Let me go!” the last 30 min of the flight? Yeah. That was our kid. It was so awesome. Even more awesome? DH almost losing his temper and being a jerk to DS. Not helpful.

The flight attendant had to intervene, too. It was mortifying. The attendant was like, “Kid you have to sit down.” DS pretty much didn’t stop screaming his brains out until we landed and taxied and I broke the rules and let him out of his seat belt before they turned off the light. At least he used his words.

Over the DC trip, DD had a fever and was throwing up and very lethargic. I wasn’t really worried, but by the time we got back Saturday, she was not getting better. She threw up Saturday evening, then again at midnight, and then at 5:30am Sunday, she woke up vomiting rust colored water. Since she didn’t eat anything brown (or at least, not in MY opinion), I freaked out and thought it might be blood. The doctor on call recommended we take her in to the ER and I chose to go to Children’s Hospital Oakland. Better safe than sorry, I say.

So, from 6:30am – 3:30pm, I was at the hospital with DD. 95% of the time, I had to stand and hold DD because she refused to let me sit down. Thank God for the Ergo! The doctors gave her chest and stomach X-rays as well as got a urine and blood culture to see what was going on. They wanted to rule out any obstructions as well as run a battery of tests because she can’t talk and tell us what hurts.

They hooked her up to an IV and it wasn’t until a lot of the fluid went into her that I realized how dehydrated she had been. Her face was not as sallow and actually plumpish again! Turns out she had a Urinary Tract Infection – and a pretty high one, too. (After, I looked up all the symptoms for UTI’s in children and she had almost every single one!) Since they’re worried the infection might spread to her kidneys, we have to be extra careful.

Thank God she barfed rust-colored barf (although they never figured out why) because otherwise, it could’ve been really bad. My poor girl!!

Unfortunately, giving DD medicine is like dosing a cat. Impossible. She has figured out how to cry without opening her mouth because when she did open her mouth, I would shove medicine down her throat. She would spit and throw up the medicine and really, girl needs antibiotics!! So, we had to use Feverall (a suppository Tylenol) for her fever and we just have to pin her down to dose her. I finally got a good method of propping her mouth open with a finger while she clamps down (OUCH!) and pinning her arms down. She just shakes her head and weeps and cries the whole time. It takes almost half an hour to give her 3mls of antibiotics.

This is how smart she is: when I lay her down on the bed and she thinks she’s going to get medicine, she cries with her mouth mostly closed and in a horizontal line. If I tell her she isn’t going to have any medicine, she opens up her mouth to cry. (I try never to lie to my kids so I can’t use that trick to give her medicine. Besides, it would only work once and then destroy trust.)

On Sunday night, DH got a call around 11:30pm saying his mother was in the hospital because she wouldn’t stop bleeding, was having trouble breathing, and they thought she had a blood clot or a vicodin overdose. (DH’s mom just had a Lifestyle Lift and I think it’s complications from that, too.) We were really worried – DH was going to fly down but his mom didn’t want him to. In the morning, DH’s brother told us that she’ll be ok. She has an pulmonary embolism/blood clot (lung) and pneumonia. The doctors said both are easily treatable and that they will admit her for a few days.

Whoever thought we’d be happy for an embolism and pneumonia!
All this, and I still stubbornly refused to call off our New Year’s Eve party. I’m glad we didn’t. It was so fun and we had a blast. The kids had a great time, too. (Well, I suppose only DS did, but I held DD the whole time and she conked out pretty well, too.)
All in all, a harrowing start to the beginning of the end of the year, but it all ended up happily.
So, Happy New Year! I hope 2013 is full of blessings and joy. 😀

I must say, I will no longer call my trips to LA vacation. In fact, we’ll just call them family trips, because it was a trip and it was with family to visit family. The only relaxing part was when we showed up at my friend, CB’s place in San Diego. That was awesome. I didn’t have to think about what to feed my family for four days. CB took care of everything. She held DD; her boys entertained DS. She planned fun and engaging activities. It was awesome.

In LA, we mostly just saw DH’s family and some old friends. It was fun, but really stressful since the kids were getting used to sleeping in the same room. Plus, DD really didn’t get good naps in until maybe the third day. Poor thing was exhausted. DS was too excited to sleep on the way down and he kept asking to go home. (In between asking for Gran Gran.)

The drive home was rough. From SD to LA was fantastic. DD was asleep before we pulled away from CB’s house. DS fell asleep shortly after. Then when we got to LA, the last 2 miles to DH’s mom’s house was brutal traffic. I hate LA. (I never thought I would say those words.)

Of course, because DH’s mom is not normal and is a hoarder, we couldn’t stop at her house. Both kids weren’t having the car anymore and DD pooped. We tried to go to a park but there was no parking and they were filming something so we ended up in a Ralph’s parking lot. DS just ran up and down the aisles.

Of course, my MIL was no help. DH was so pissed at her because she would just stand as DS disappeared. DH was on the phone trying to take care of a tax thing for her and I was carrying DD. It was madness. We had to go to the bathroom at the grocery store because her house was too fucking disgusting.

We dropped her back home because seriously, what was there to do? The last thing any of us wanted was to force the kids to sit still again in a restaurant. DD was crying again so we stopped at a parking lot to feed. DS just ran around and screamed.

Then we started off. As soon as we put DD back in her seat, she started to cry. This would become a pattern. She finally fell asleep but then DS had to poo.

We stopped, changed DS and grab some fast food. We head off and DD was pissed. She was so happy to be out. Ten minutes later, DS had to poo again. We took a break and fed DD and DS stared at my phone because I had to bribe him to get back into his seat. DD was weeping as soon as I put her down. I started to cry.

This is where it gets awesome. Fifteen minutes later, DS demands to get out of his seat. Of course we can’t so I give him the iPad telling him there are no videos/YouTube on there. Desperately playing with the iPad hoping for videos, DS finally pushes it away.

He starts to cry and demand to get out. I didn’t want him to wake up DD so I give him my phone for half an hour. After that, he gives it back and begins to beg to get out. It is 830. We have another 3.5 hrs to go.

Then he says he pooped. By now, he has pooped twice and I think he will say anything to get out. DD was asleep and I didn’t want to stop the car, have her wake up and cry again.

DS proceeds to scream for the next hour as if I am killing him. “Open! No more bye bye! Up! Mommy!” DD also screams hoarsely, for about half an hour. She finally falls back asleep and DS screams on. He finally falls asleep.

Around 1030, with about an hour to go, DH goes over a bumpy stretch of road and DS wakes up screaming for another half hour or so. DD of course wakes up, too.

Finally they fall asleep again about 15 minutes from the house and we make it home. Thank God.

Of course, DS’s diaper was full of orange poo. I forgot he drank so much good juice after a week of bad food that the kid had been sitting in poop for three hours. No wonder he was pissed. Poor guy.

He refused to sleep in his room so DH slept with him and he’s out around 1am. DD is out, too. Promptly at 7am, DS pops up and is up for the day. Of course he wakes DD.

I am still traumatized. We are never leaving the house again. (Except, of course, when we leave for Hawaii at the end of June. I am completely dreading this.)

So, in a nutshell: LA OK. SD Awesome. Driving SUCKED.

My MIL came for Easter weekend and DS LOVED it. It really does make me happy to see her and DS (and in the future, DD) bond and like each other more and more. Of course, she does get on my last nerve, but my MIL goes out of her way to incorporate what I’ve mentioned to her in the past. For instance, she greatly watches what she says around the kids now. I didn’t hear one single, “How stupid of me!” or really, anything terribly negative from her.

If any of you have ever tried to curb or cut out something from your vocabulary, you know just how hard that is. But she did awesome all weekend! I don’t think I could do that. So, even though my MIL claims she isn’t a loving person, I can tell just by all the effort she puts in to change her way of speaking around the babies that she IS a loving person.

I am so grateful. 🙂

Sometimes, I just want to yell at DH and my MIL and scream, “If you don’t like how impatient or annoyed I get, then STOP BEING SO FUCKING STUPID AND GET BETTER.”

Then, I feel sad that I’m such a fuckwad.

But I still feel that they should get smarter.

Someone shoot me soon. It is almost over. THANK GOD.

Shocking, I know! But really, it was probably the best weekend I’d ever spent in her presence! I think I just really appreciated her making the effort to come out even though a good portion of the visit would be taken up by DS’s birthday party. She hates being around strangers and people in general. She always thinks they are judging her and thinking she is ugly or whatever. Despite the total stupidity of that statement, I am still glad she braved her fears just to be with DS. 🙂

In fact, she is even coming up two more times (once in January and once in February)!! I am very pleased. Not because I like her any better, but because DS and DD will be able to get to know her much more. After all, this visit, DS was so happy to see her! He knew her and wanted to be with her. I think that also made my MIL want to come more often. She saw the results of being more in his life. It makes me very glad.

Yes, yes. Don’t be fooled. I’m still an ass at heart. But every now and then, I can be good.

Ok, after much prodding from my brother, here are some of the highlights from the MIL visit:

1) I seriously wanted to smack the MIL when she would continually claim the kiddos didn’t like her. If DS didn’t give her a toy or come hug her immediately or if DD would cry when my MIL held her, she would say, “See, they don’t like me.” Even DH pretty much told his mother to shut up today.

For FUCK’S SAKE!! (Which, in exasperation, I did yell at her.) He’s a 2 year old. It’s not about her. He’s 2. If DD cries, it’s for 4 things: hunger, wet/dirty diaper, sleepy, uncomfortable. I was THIS CLOSE to telling her that I would not let her give my kid a complex about pleasing her. Because seriously? It’s not his responsibility to make sure she feels secure about her
Grandmotherhood. That’s her fucking job. She needs to STFU.

2) I did tell her repeatedly that we would love for her to visit on a monthly or bimonthly basis. Of course, she made it all about her again. “I’m not important. The kids won’t care if I come visit or not.”

Finally, I told her that the kids will think it’s important because I think it’s important and will make them think it’s important. That again, it’s not about her at all whatsoever. That they have few enough family as it is, and with DH’s dad gone and my dad figuratively dead to me, they really only have my mom and her. So, she should man up and get her ass to their birthday parties even if she hates being around people – because again, NO ONE CARES ABOUT HER. ALL THE GUESTS WILL BE PLAYING WITH DS OR TALKING TO ME. She should be there because she’s important to DS and DD.

3) Seriously, this is the shit I have to listen to all visit.

4) However, I was much better about holding my tongue and not being a general ass-hat. Because when all is said and done, even though I don’t really like her as person, it is vitally important to me that she be in my children’s lives.