*sigh* I’m so sorry, little blog. I do not mean to ignore you. (Actually, I just skipped one day. Sorry!!!) To make up for it, I bring stories of kiddos.

1) This morning, DS and DD opened up the door to the garage, opened up the garage door, and ran down the driveway while I was in the bathroom. WTF.

2) I think DD likes coloring with markers just so she gets her hands dirty (she sticks her fingers in the caps). That way, she can wash them. She loves to wash her hands.

3) DD clocked me in the head this morning because she didn’t get what she wanted. This girl!!

4) I was discussing with some of my friends what type of business we should start together (FWIW, I think it’s a terrible idea), they said we should start a kids’ consignment store. But I negated that saying we’d have to have inventory and a place to rent. I said I should just be a surrogate and get paid $40k per baby. DH said he would punch me nonstop in the face if I did that. So I guess he prefers the consignment store idea. LOL.

5) I swear the kids are masterminding some type of thing against me. They keep setting me up with mutually exclusive requests demands. If DS wants to go right, DD wants to go left. If DS wants to watch a show, DD immediately says she doesn’t want that show. It’s driving me up the wall. I just end up ignoring them both while they scream their brains out simultaneously.

6) Yesterday morning, both kids were screaming and crying. DS wanted almonds (which we didn’t have – because you bet your ass if I did, I would’ve been shoving them in his pie hole just so he would STFU). DD wanted to eat a chocolate bunny – which I didn’t let her have. Then, they switched to crying because DD was so mad at me she punched DS in the head. (See a recurring pattern here?)

7) I asked DD for a 梳子 (shu zi or comb) and she came back with a 書 (shu or book). Chinese homonyms are awesome!

8) DS and DD were arguing the other day over whether or not DD was funny. DD says, “I funny!” DS replies, “Not funny!” Granted, at the time, she was insisting she was funny because she ruined and destroyed something he made. LOL. Totally understandable.

9) In related news, DD now thinks that she can get away with whatever she does as long as she smiles and says, “I funny!”

10) DS gets very involved while watching movies. He’s an extrovert for sure! And he’s a lot like my mother. “What’s happening? Why is he doing that? What is he doing? Where is he going? etc.” On Saturday, he was watching Ice Age for the first time and I guess there’s a part where a woman jumps off a cliff and he SCREAMED. Not just any scream, a full on blood-curdling scream. Because he was so worried. It was sweet. I think I have to really screen his movies.

11) Once, while DH was changing DD’s poopy diaper, DS asked, “Why does DD’s pigu (butt) change colors from black to red?”

12) On Friday, I overheard DH pleading with the kids, “Please, can you both be normal?” They were both crying because they wanted the same fork. There was nothing they could use the fork on at the time.

13) DD likes to wear my bras.

14) One time when DD was asleep, she started shaking her head, “No” very vigorously. I laughed because she is also contrary – even in her dreams!

15) DS climbed a rope ladder at the park and said he was Spiderman. He doesn’t really know who Spiderman is. He also talks about pirates a lot. But again, he doesn’t really know what a pirate is. Case in point, a few weeks ago, he called a hair clip a pirate that was coming to eat me.

16) DD mixes up her English and Chinese words all the time in an awesome Chinglish concoction. Instead of “不可以” DD says, “No可以.” (Which is No, you can’t.)

Ok, hopefully that satisfies you for now. I will now get to writing tomorrow’s post. 😉

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Here are some more stories of the kiddies.

1) DS has been saying that he has a baby in his tummy, just like DH and DD do, too. Like Mommy. Because Mommy has to share!

2) DD likes to jump up and fall down (she can’t really jump yet, but she’ll bounce on the bed and then flop on her pillow) while saying, “Ribbit! Ribbit!” In fact, both the kids like to pretend they are frogs and jump up and down and yell, “Ribbit! Ribbit!”

3) DD thinks it’s hilarious to say she pooped when she really peed, and vice versa. When we are changing her diaper, we’ll say, “Did you peepee?” And DD will respond, “No, poopoo!” Or the opposite for the other scenario. It is hilarious.

4) DD and DS like to purposely make me choose between two things that are mutually exclusive. If DS wants to watch one show, DD demands another. If DD wants to go upstairs, DS demands to stay downstairs. I think they do it on purpose – to see who is the more alpha among them. That way, I have to choose – and whoever I choose wins. Or something. They are devious little children.

5) Currently, they are both obsessed with seeing pictures and videos of DS as a baby. I don’t know why.

6) Sometimes, when DD is crying or upset, DS will comfort her and hug her and tell her, “It’s OK, DD.” And go on to explain that Mommy will be back soon or that she needs to go to sleep. It’s super sweet. I love how they cozy in bed together, too.

7) It really makes me happy to see my two kids interact. They often play very well together and have very detailed conversations that I can only half follow.

I hope all of you are enjoying your day off! Here’s a funny (yet sad) story for your day.

I was putting on a pad for all my pee leakage (Hey, I’m pregnant with my THIRD kid and coughing like crazy) and DS asked me what it was. I told him it was a small diaper in case Mommy peed. DS looked at me sadly and said, “Too big, Mama. You’re too big.”

So, there are all these ants in the house which really upsets DS. He kept telling me to, “清清螞蟻 (Clean up the ants)!” But DD thinks he is saying, “親親螞蟻 (Kiss the ants)!” (They are pronounced the same way in Chinese.) so she goes up to the ants and kisses them.

I didn’t understand why she was doing it at first, but once I figured it out, I couldn’t stop laughing.

On a different note, DH is awesome and I never have to watch my children again until he goes back to work. He takes them out from about 8am-1pm just walking around trails, going to parks, the library, community center, wherever, and utterly tires them out. When he goes back to work, the whole family (especially me) will cry except DH who will breathe a huge sigh of relief. What an awesome dad. 😀

I know most of you only read this blog for the kiddo updates. LOL. I understand. I find my own life boring, too. The kids are much more interesting.

1) The other night while settling down for bed, DS kept saying, “The lion is coming! The lion is coming! It’s in the room! It’s behind you!” DD got very worried and kept asking about the lion. She really thought there was a lion coming into our room. I finally had to pretend to “eat” the lion so she wouldn’t get upset. Then, DS switched to alligators, birds, dogs, dinosaurs, etc. Funny enough, DD was not worried about those. Only the lion. She was actually excited about a dinosaur being in the room. LOL.

2) Last week, when I got out of the bathroom, I found both kids on top of the dresser in DS’s room. They had pushed step stools next to it and climbed on top, happy and proud of themselves. They were not happy after Mommy found them. We have to get that thing stabilized with dresser latches. I have them. Just have to put them on. OOOH!! Put that on the To-Do list!!

3) During our drive up to Sacramento, DS kept demanding juice even though I didn’t have any. So, of course, he starts throwing a fit. DD kept saying, “Water? Water?” and trying to offer DS a bottle of water. Adorbs. (DD, that is. DS, not so much.)

4) What I love to see now is that the kids actually have conversations with each other. DS tries to help DD with things. Trades toys with her. Tries to convince her to do stuff he wants to do. DD copies DS and also tries to talk to him. They are adorable.

5) DD is also going through a phase where she insists on seeing videos of herself. Pictures are also acceptable. But mostly, she wants to see her videos. A lot like DS was at her age. 😀

DD: Duck? (Offering to DS.)
DS: I don’t want a duck! (Chucks the duck.)
DD: (Picks up the duck.) Duck?
DS: I don’t want a duck! (Chucks the duck.)
Rinse and Repeat at least 5xs.

(Okay, technically this happened on Tuesday night, but I’m posting it now before I forget. Hahahahaha.)

My kids are such characters, bursting with personality. Here are some funny stories about them.

1) DS had just finished pooping and I was wiping his butt. I had left the wipes open and DD got one out and began to help wipe DS’s butt.

2) During snack time at preschool, the teacher asked everybody what was their favorite thing to do. Some kids said drawing or playing with cars, etc. DS said, “我最喜歡吃東西!” (My favorite thing to do is eat stuff!)

3) DD loves to wash her butt. She will get on all fours in the tub and then back her butt into the water running from the faucet. Over and over again. She will even re-position herself! One time, she cleared out all the bath toys just so she would have room to wash her butt. DH filmed it and it’s the funniest thing.

4) DS made DD cry and I told him to say sorry to her. As soon as DD heard me tell him to say sorry, she moved in for a hug. He hugged her and said, “Hi!” She said, “Hi” back and waved so DS waved back. So cute!

5) DD now sings and dances along with our Mommy and Me music class. It’s adorable!! Clearly, a musical genius. 😉

6) DS accidentally drank some of my warm/hot water and spat it out. The look on his face was one of betrayal. He said, “That water is no good.” I couldn’t stop laughing.

That’s all I can think of for now. I will try to remember more. 🙂