Clearly, I am the mayor of this establishment. Last night, right before midnight, I became absolutely obsessed with finding out when my infant car seat expired. Then, I got annoyed that my infant car seat expires in 12/2014. It won’t affect baby #3, but that means I will likely have to buy a new one for baby #4. Or scrounge around friends and see if their old car seats are not expiring until end of 2015 or mid 2016.

So what did I do? I spent over half an hour researching infant car seats for a hypothetical problem for a hypothetical baby when my THIRD child is as yet, UNBORN. WTF is wrong with me, besides the obvious?

Carry on, normal people. 

So sorry. Forgot to post yesterday. In my defense, I was busy being the worst mom ever. *sigh* I think other than my children eating some strawberries and tofu (not together) and maybe some yogurt, the majority of their diet yesterday consisted of chips, cookies, crackers, snacks, and whatever. I’m not sure I really interacted with my kids because my nose was buried in a book. They may have watched a lot of TV and played a lot with the iPhone. Had minimal naps. Ran amok in general and I really didn’t intervene until someone started crying. Hey, I’m fostering independence!

Then, I made them go to bed early because the night before, they had stayed up late because both DH and I were out at separate events and they didn’t want to listen to my mom. Then, I snuck downstairs, ate a bunch of chips for dinner, and watched the season finale for The Vampire Diaries. Then I felt guilty.

I’m sure THEY had a good time (I was also “babysitting” two other kids) running amok around the house screaming and playing and eating snacks. And I suppose as long as this isn’t an every day occurrence. it’s not horrible. But man, is it tempting to just check out while parenting. *sigh* I blame smartphones.

Today, I WILL BE A BETTER MOMMY. After I finish my new book.

Sometimes, I really hate Facebook memes. “Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.” – Alvin Price

Really?! That is a crock of shit. Part of my job as a parent is to make my kids competent so their self-esteem is based in REALITY. Otherwise, you just have delusional and useless people.

FFS. I just want to punch the person who posted this in the face.

So, I totally forgot to tell you all about our awesome and super successful Easter Egg Hunt!! We had approximately 50 people (including kids) show up and about 600 eggs. We had so many eggs that the kids got bored and tired of picking them up and decided to sit down and open them instead. LOL. We had a ton of food and great weather and it was just so much fun. I think I am definitely going to throw one yearly.

Seriously, I was super proud of myself. I think it may have been the best event I’ve ever hosted. 🙂 A great, lovely time was had by all. DS was ecstatic that so many of his friends were there and they went crazy for the bubble machine (yes, I have one) and the play ground and of course, the eggs. DD was bored of the egg hunt (she was like, “Didn’t we already do this?”) and ate crackers instead. She has her priorities straight. The kids played T-ball, we barely had to watch our children because there were so many parents and kids – plus they were all MY friends!!

*sigh* If only every thing I did would go off that well. heehee!

Waylaid by stomach flu (both the kiddos and I – thankfully, DH is still fine). On our way to Disneyland tomorrow.

Got my Christmas cards out – as well as the 2013 picture calendars ordered. Now, I have to work on DS’s 1st year baby book as well as DD’s. Gotta get those out sometime! Then I’m going to be making a yearbook for 2012 (and then hopefully, 2011). It’s going to be expensive. But worth it. 🙂 I will try to make enough copies for my mom, my MIL, and my great aunt.

Ok. Try not to miss me too much. Oh wait, you’re already used to me slacking. SO SORRY!

I am so grateful that I have a husband who makes enough that we can live comfortably on his salary alone. I am so grateful to my children because I cannot imagine my life without them. I must say, with all sincerity, that my children have given me purpose.

I never thought I would be one of those women whose life revolved around her kids. But I am! And I don’t mind. I have found my calling. Without kids, where would I be today? Still muddling around, working a job I didn’t care for, doing the same shit different day? Sure, I’d have read more books and seen more movies, but I wouldn’t be “in the pocket” so to speak.

I am where I belong. I am doing what I want and should be – nay, BORN to do. I am focused, for the first time. My job is fitting and I LOVE IT.

Every night, I try to pray over my babies as I put them to sleep. When I do so, I find myself going through a list of wish-fulfillment. I mean, who doesn’t want good things for their children? Sometimes, I find that my prayers seem to be a way to try and manipulate and control God. Other times, it is out of genuine belief.

Here is what I try to pray for my kids (obviously not all-inclusive) and the thoughts that go through my head while praying:

1) That they would be healthy and live long, meaningful lives. Not really sure what that means or looks like, but I’ll know it when I see it.

2) That they would be spared suffering. But then I think that a life without suffering tends not to produce people of character, hope, or perseverance. So then, I think, perhaps just enough suffering. Not too much that it breaks my children, but not too little that it breaks them a different way.

3) Crap. Perhaps I should just pray for resilience. That they can bounce back from things. But then, I don’t want them to be too self-reliant and not ever learn to trust in God. Or be too glib.

4) I want my kids to be smart and work hard. To know that just because you’re smart and things come easily doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have to work hard and settle for just getting by. (That would be my entire academic career. Oh, let’s call a spade a spade. My entire CAREER, too.)

5) I pray for my kids to have their heart take after God’s own heart. That they love the poor, are humble, and have compassion. That they see beyond the physical.

6) I pray for my children to value the insides of a person. To want to be a person of character as well as seek people who have character.

7) I pray for my kids to be incredibly good looking.

8) I pray for them to be funny – both to me and to people in general.

9) I pray for them to choose to believe in God and Jesus not because they were force-fed it as children, but because they have vibrant, full faiths of their own.

10) I beg God to protect my children from evil. I ask God to protect their hearts and their spirits and their physical bodies.

11) I pray that DD knows her value as a person and as a woman and doesn’t throw herself away at “inessential penises” (to quote Daughter of Smoke and Bone). Of course, I realize that I presume she is going to be heterosexual – which is somewhat of a prayer only because anything else will be hard for her. (See item 2. However, if she is something other than heterosexual, I will always love her and support her and who she is meant to be.)

12) I pray that DS also knows his value as a person – and becomes a man who values women and isn’t threatened by or use them. (Same thing goes for heterosexuality assumptions, here.)

13) Inevitably, I pray God helps me be a good parent.

I can’t remember any more off the top of my head, but like I said before. Not all-inclusive. What do you pray/hope for your children?