Seriously, I have too many of these stories just lurking in the back of my brain that if I don’t get them down soon, I will forget them.

1) One time, DD accidentally hit my stomach but DS thought she hit my breast. He said, “Mama, DD hit you in the milk!”

2) DD keeps trying to jump but unsuccessfully. It’s really cute though because she gets on her tip-toes and raises her hands in the air. Then she whooshes her hands and arms down trying to “push off” or take off the ground. heehee.

3) Last week, I had a total parenting fail moment when DS insisted on staying in his PJs and his pullup and refused to get dressed for school. I must’ve spent at least 20 minutes spanking him or wrestling with him. (Let me just tell you, a 3.5 year old who kicks and screams is really hard to dress – even if your husband is helping. We did not win.) He ended up going to school in his PJs. DH changed him at school. I was beyond pissed.

4) Lately, DD is obsessed with her doll. She feeds her, changers her diapers, gives her naps, makes her play the piano. She even gives the doll time outs! Then she hugs the “baby.” heehee. Well, I had texted DH’s brother the pictures and he had to ruin it by saying, “She’s becoming a little girl!” Because you know, girls only play with dolls. Not trains or anything else. FFS. I realize that he meant well, but seriously? That’s just fucking stupid.

5) DD had been saying, “Jajija” or “Jija” for vagina. Recently, it morphed into, “Gina.” Super cute. I don’t know what it is about kids saying the correct names for genitalia – it is HILARIOUS.

6) Now, part of our bedtime ritual is for the kids to talk to (but mostly blow raspberries on my tummy) their little brother. DS2 REALLY loves to respond to his big brother and sister. As soon as they start up, he rolls and kicks and does all manner of wizardry. The kids love to put their hands on my tummy and feel DS2 doing his stuff. So cute.

7) DS likes to quiz me on all the Thomas the Trains and the different engines and to see which tender belongs to which engine. He thinks it’s hilarious when I’m wrong. (That’s his idea of a joke – to have wrong answers.)

8) A few weeks ago, I broke another toilet seat. This is the 3rd toilet seat we’ve broken (I broke the first, DH broke the second, I broke the third) in a year. I mentioned this on FB and a HS acquaintance said that he always thought I had a “big booty” but “dayum!” Seriously, I almost decked him. (Well, figuratively.) I just hate it when people try and so fail to be funny. I would be mildly offended if it were remotely true, but I barely hit puberty in HS – I certainly didn’t have any junk in the trunk. But seriously? Who says that to a 7 month pregnant woman? ONLY AN ASSHOLE.

9) DD has been a holy terror these past few weeks. She throws tantrums and screams and is totally defiant. I just have to remember that DS went through this phase around this age as well. It’s just that he could barely talk so we didn’t know EXACTLY what was on his mind. We have no such problem with DD.

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Nothing like looking at a first time parent’s baby registry to make you feel smug and superior. Seriously – socks for a baby born in June in LA? Or newborn specific bath towels? REALLY? *sigh*

When I was registering for my first kid, I made my friend who had a baby a year ahead of me do my registry. That way, I was more assured of not having useless or wasted items on my list. As it happened, I still bought plenty of crap that didn’t need to be purchased. (I’m looking at you, bottle warmer!) I think it upsets me because I know every one has a limited budget and money supply for new babies. Why would you want to waste your money on crap that will just clutter your house as well as not use?

BLARGH. I know. I’m just a crotchety, smug, asshat.

Boy! Which is perfect because that means that DS1 and DS2 will be less than 4 years apart in age (which is less than the age gap between my younger brother and I) and hopefully, they can play together as well.

Of course, this puts a lot of pressure on the fourth baby to be a girl. Heehee. After all, when I was putting away some of DD’s old clothes, I thought, “She can’t be the last girl! She is so sweet and cute and her clothes are ADORABLE!”

Keep in mind, though DD is a sweetie, she’s feisty and a total tyrant!! Not that DS wasn’t a tyrant, but it is much farther back in memory.

DH keeps saying that DD is a handful and that she doesn’t share well and always wants her own way. But you know what? It wasn’t like DS was born being a good sharer! We had to train and beat that into him. LOL. (I say that only partially figuratively.) So, she just needs to be taught that the world doesn’t revolve only around her.

In fact, she gets put in time outs several times a day now. She’s really good at telling me why she got a time out in the first place, too. I was impressed.

Gah. Seems like every time I leave, I get used to not posting and then Poof! A month or more goes by and I haven’t updated.

So, here are some funny stories about the kiddos in the last few weeks:

1) We were at a park one day and some boys a little older than DS were playing with each other and DS happened to be near them. They were saying, “Come on!” to each other and DS thought they were talking to him so he followed them around for at least 10 minutes. They were good sports and all had a good time chasing each other and running around.

2) Unfortunately, we had a bad experience with the landlady at the house we were staying at and I started using her as a threat to keep the kids quiet. I didn’t realize how often I was doing that until DD was being noisy and DS told her that the person upstairs was going to come down and that we didn’t want that.

3) For awhile, DS kept either saying, “What’s going on here?” or “Something [sic] going on here!” in a Grover voice (his serious voice). So funny. He often talks in his Grover voice when he is being very serious.

4) DH put DS in shorts on one of the first few hot days of the year and DS said, “I’ll be cold.” DH asked, “Do you want me to get pants for you?” DS said, “That would be better.”

5) It was super hot one day and DS was in shorts and DD was just in a dress. DS was very worried that DD was not wearing pants.

6) While peeing one day, DS told me (in Chinglish) that his pee comes out from a 洞洞 (hole) in his penis.

7) While I was folding laundry one day, DD picked up my giant underwear and walked around with it over her head, around her neck. I was both amused and mortified.

8) One night, I was trying to get the kids to sleep. I was so annoyed that I yelled at DD, “Go to sleep!” She sat up and yelled back, “NO!”

9) After bath time one day, I asked DS if DD had a penis. He said, “No. 她有屁股 (She has a butt)!”

10) Then, I tried to teach him how to say, “Vagina.” Now, he says DD has a “Gagina.”

11) While grocery shopping, DD kept standing up in the cart. I lightly smacked her on the back of her hand and then she hit me back. Twice. HARD!

12) Sometimes, DD will hit DS on the head and then say, “Ouch!” and hold out her hand for me to kiss.

13) Now, when I tell DS to do something, he’ll reply, “I know, Mommy! I know!”

14) DD has started telling me when she’s pooped or peed or farted. She calls them all poo. LOL. I am semi-starting to potty train her in a half-assed manner.

15) When I finally switched DS’s car seat to forward facing (he is too close to the weight limit for rear-facing), he was very upset because he still wanted to face backwards. DD was upset because she wanted to be facing forward like DS. DS is the ONLY kid I know who was upset about turning the car seat around.

16) Because DD cosleeps with us, she often hogs my pillow. Often, if I am taking up too much space on my own damn pillow, she will yell at me, “Move!”

17) Somehow, between the last cold and now, DS has stopped liking to take medicine. BLARGH.

18) The other day, DD ordered me to do the following: “Chip. Now. Me.” I didn’t even know she could say, “Now,” let alone know what it means.

19) Yesterday morning, DD started crying because she wanted to wear a different dress. I don’t even think she cared what dress it was that she was wearing because she literally just chose the next top dress in the dresser. She just didn’t want to wear anything I chose.

20) I was just putting down DD for a nap and she started to fake snore.

Ok. That should last a bit, right? You don’t expect me to post again?

A few weeks ago, DD decided to climb out of her crib. She thwopped down onto the floor and I ran upstairs in a panic, opening the door, totally forgetting that she was likely right by the door to open it, and of course, bonked her on the head. She was more injured from my inept door handling than from the fall. I thought I could get away with not converting the crib to the toddler bed, but a few mornings later, when I was too slow in getting her one morning, I found her with her foot over the railing, trying to climb out again. *sigh* So I had to convert the bed.

Ever since the bed conversion, DD has been a NIGHTMARE. She will scream her brains out and refuse to sleep. (When before, she would just lay down quietly and go to bed.) She’ll scream at the gate by the door and throw herself onto the floor. At night, she will usually do that a minute or so, then run to her bed and go to sleep. But then she’ll wake up at 3-4am and REFUSE TO GO BACK TO SLEEP. She has climbed onto the big comfy chair we have in her room and sleep there (she fell off in the morning).

Unfortunately, DD is too smart. She will take the nursing pillow and drag it to the gate and stand on top of it as a step stool to see if she can get out. When I removed the pillow, she found ANOTHER pillow. I am just waiting for her to figure out she can move the footrest we have by her bed (so she climb up on it) and pile a pillow on top of that.

Plus, she doesn’t nap well anymore either. As soon as I put her down and let go, I realize she is still HOLDING ONTO ME WITH HER DEATH GRIP. Then she’ll scream her brains out for a LONG time. *sigh* It is horrible. She only naps when I successfully transfer her sleeping body from the car to her room. (That is, unless DS doesn’t completely fuck it up for me by WAKING HER UP.)

The other night, after having no nap that day, she woke up after sleeping only an hour and a half. She was screaming her brains out like she was in PAIN. So, I took her to my room thinking that she’d calm down. NO. She was screaming her brains out on my bed (and not waking up DS at all). The only way she would stop was if I picked her up and walked around or rocked her. Seriously. I was rocking a 23lb “newborn” to sleep. I was NOT happy.

Plus, since we are on a family trip, her sleep is going to be all messed up. And then we’ll be leaving again in May so just as soon as I get her back to normal, we’re gonna screw it up again. Poop.

Off to stuff Easter eggs with some friends. I bought 3 gross of them for our egg hunt this Sunday (that’s 3 x 144). I think we have more than enough even if people forget to bring 20 eggs per kids. I am super excited about the hunt, too. If it goes well, perhaps I will make it a tradition! I love coming up with things for the kids and making new traditions. I want to create a childhood that they remember fondly (without going overboard and crazy control freakish). Of course they will look back on their childhood fondly (barring things I can’t control) but I think things like this (trips to LA/SD, egg hunts, parties), those moments may stick out. 🙂

SO FUN! Plus, it’s an excuse to hang out with all my friends. 😀 (That’s the real reason. heehee.)

Has it really been almost two weeks since I last updated? BLARGH and a HALF!

Um, um, um… Random updates then:

1) Halloween was fun. DS was a fireman and DD was a duck. ADORBS! DH and my mom took them out trick-or-treating and my normally ebullient son was reserved and shy and refused to say, “Trick or treat” or “Thank you.”

2) DS has been super-clingy lately. Like, SUPER clingy. Bursting into tears because he wants me to hold him forever (keep in mind, he is 34 pounds!!) and I won’t. Wanting to sit on me or just be as close as humanly possible without him actually being in my womb. It’s sweet and annoying. I am hoping that it’s because I’m pregnant (I don’t know yet. We’ll see soon!) and that he senses the hormones and it’s making him crazy. He was super clingy when I was pregnant with DD.

3) By the way, did I mention that I really want to be pregnant? So much so that I think I’ve convinced my body that I’m pregnant. Like, I’ve psychosomatically triggered pregnancy symptoms. We’ll see. *sigh* I HOPE SO!!

4) Since 10/13, we’ll have gone to (or will go to) a birthday party every weekend until Thanksgiving. Then we have a one week break and we’ll have another one in December. That’s a lot of birthdays. And a lot of present-giving. At least DS will get his fill of cake.

5) DS can now count to 10 in both Chinese and English. Of course, most often, he says, “1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7 (seben!), 8, W, cake!”

6) DS’s latest thing is, “I NEED [insert whatever he “needs”]!” DH says that will be his most repeated line to girls when he reaches high school. *sigh* Leave it to DH to project all his hopes of a son who is a player. 😦

7) DH is leaving for Japan on Sunday and won’t be back until next Friday. YIPES! I will miss him – but mostly, I am sad because he will miss the babies.

8) DD is totally a Daddy’s girl. Her first words were, “Baba (father in Chinese), cheese (for photos),” and “bye bye.” I was very bitter that Mommy was NOT in there. She started saying, “Mama” the other day so all is forgiven. 😀 But every morning after her morning feeding, she rolls off me, stands up and says, “Baba” for DH to pick her up and take her downstairs. She stands up and lifts her arms toward him. It’s so cute.

9) I’ve been watching a close friend’s two boys about twice a week and it’s been a lot of fun. Her boys are so good and it’s my children who are little punks. heehee. I love it when they come over because DS and her oldest boy just run around and chase each other and wear each other out. LOVE IT. Plus, she always brings so much food for us. I tell her not to since she is so busy, but she insists. We gladly eat it. 😀 I seriously have the better end of this deal.

10) I keep forgetting to set DD’s one year appointment. *sigh* LAME.