Weekend

My MIL came for Easter weekend and DS LOVED it. It really does make me happy to see her and DS (and in the future, DD) bond and like each other more and more. Of course, she does get on my last nerve, but my MIL goes out of her way to incorporate what I’ve mentioned to her in the past. For instance, she greatly watches what she says around the kids now. I didn’t hear one single, “How stupid of me!” or really, anything terribly negative from her.

If any of you have ever tried to curb or cut out something from your vocabulary, you know just how hard that is. But she did awesome all weekend! I don’t think I could do that. So, even though my MIL claims she isn’t a loving person, I can tell just by all the effort she puts in to change her way of speaking around the babies that she IS a loving person.

I am so grateful. 🙂

 

Annoyed and Sad

Sometimes, I just want to yell at DH and my MIL and scream, “If you don’t like how impatient or annoyed I get, then STOP BEING SO FUCKING STUPID AND GET BETTER.”

Then, I feel sad that I’m such a fuckwad.

But I still feel that they should get smarter.

 

OMG

Someone shoot me soon. It is almost over. THANK GOD.

 

Whoops!

Sorry about the missed post last night. My MIL is in town and I totally forgot. Will post more on Monday. (Or this weekend if I can remember.)

 

Good Weekend with the MIL

Shocking, I know! But really, it was probably the best weekend I’d ever spent in her presence! I think I just really appreciated her making the effort to come out even though a good portion of the visit would be taken up by DS’s birthday party. She hates being around strangers and people in general. She always thinks they are judging her and thinking she is ugly or whatever. Despite the total stupidity of that statement, I am still glad she braved her fears just to be with DS. 🙂

In fact, she is even coming up two more times (once in January and once in February)!! I am very pleased. Not because I like her any better, but because DS and DD will be able to get to know her much more. After all, this visit, DS was so happy to see her! He knew her and wanted to be with her. I think that also made my MIL want to come more often. She saw the results of being more in his life. It makes me very glad.

Yes, yes. Don’t be fooled. I’m still an ass at heart. But every now and then, I can be good.

 

The MIL Post

Ok, after much prodding from my brother, here are some of the highlights from the MIL visit:

1) I seriously wanted to smack the MIL when she would continually claim the kiddos didn’t like her. If DS didn’t give her a toy or come hug her immediately or if DD would cry when my MIL held her, she would say, “See, they don’t like me.” Even DH pretty much told his mother to shut up today.

For FUCK’S SAKE!! (Which, in exasperation, I did yell at her.) He’s a 2 year old. It’s not about her. He’s 2. If DD cries, it’s for 4 things: hunger, wet/dirty diaper, sleepy, uncomfortable. I was THIS CLOSE to telling her that I would not let her give my kid a complex about pleasing her. Because seriously? It’s not his responsibility to make sure she feels secure about her
Grandmotherhood. That’s her fucking job. She needs to STFU.

2) I did tell her repeatedly that we would love for her to visit on a monthly or bimonthly basis. Of course, she made it all about her again. “I’m not important. The kids won’t care if I come visit or not.”

Finally, I told her that the kids will think it’s important because I think it’s important and will make them think it’s important. That again, it’s not about her at all whatsoever. That they have few enough family as it is, and with DH’s dad gone and my dad figuratively dead to me, they really only have my mom and her. So, she should man up and get her ass to their birthday parties even if she hates being around people – because again, NO ONE CARES ABOUT HER. ALL THE GUESTS WILL BE PLAYING WITH DS OR TALKING TO ME. She should be there because she’s important to DS and DD.

3) Seriously, this is the shit I have to listen to all visit.

4) However, I was much better about holding my tongue and not being a general ass-hat. Because when all is said and done, even though I don’t really like her as person, it is vitally important to me that she be in my children’s lives.

 

On the Subject of Mothers…

Why not talk about MILs? My MIL is coming to visit this weekend and I’m not really looking forward to it. I know, I’m an ass. The thing is, I do want her to visit for three primary reasons:

1. I want DS to get to know his paternal grandmother.
2. I want DH to spend time with his mother.
3. I want DS to grow up knowing that I want his dad to spend time with his mother. (Therefore, he needs to spend time with me in the future. What? You thought this was altruism?)

She is actually a pretty good MIL as MILs go. She pretty much leaves us alone to do whatever we want. She doesn’t press for visits (either us to visit her or her to visit us). She sends gifts and cards and money to DS. She doesn’t call all the time and doesn’t really butt into our lives. She’s very low-key and low-maintenance that way. I am very grateful for that. I would kill myself if my MIL was like my mom. (Possibly because I can only have one crazy-in-the-way-your-own-mom-can-be person in my life.)

However, I find her so tiring. She’s one of the most negative people I have ever met. Everything is terrible. She’s so fat but she loves to eat. She’s so ugly. She is so lucky but she just hates her life. I want to smack her. Having a conversation with her is like talking to a crazy wall. But she’s crazy in a way that I’m not used to.

DH always asks me why I even bother arguing with her. He says, “You don’t expect a crazy person to act normal. Why do you expect her to act like you do? You just have inappropriate expectations. Just nod and say, ‘Oh, that’s interesting.'”

This is why both DH and my brother get along so much better with people. I, on the other hand, am clinically insane for always butting heads with folks. I think they’re wrong? I’ll tell them! I think they’re crazy? I tell them! I think they’re stupid? I make sure they know!

*sigh* Terrible. I’m not proud of myself for my complete immaturity. I try pretty hard to make her enjoy her stay so that she will want to come back again and again. I may not like her much, but I sure want DS to love her and care about her (besides which, DH loves her very much). I am glad it’s just the long weekend. 🙂 Is that bad?